


United

by tmwillson3



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Light Angst, Shapeshifting, That's Not How The Force Works, The Force Ships It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 04:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmwillson3/pseuds/tmwillson3
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple mission to an unknown planet: split up, find the plant that could save the healed galaxy's food supply, and bring the plant back, preventing the new government from failing. What Ben and Rey got instead was a race against time to find the plant and avoid being turned into animals for the rest of their lives by working together. If only they could stop arguing with one another......





	1. In Their Mutual Need

**Author's Note:**

> No, I don't own Star Wars, or anything else I reference (P&P woo!). All of this is me writing for a theme, Two Solitudes That Meet. For my celestial body, I chose to create a planet, Themarwill. I was inspired to write this story based on an image I thought of and used in the sixth chapter. I hope you enjoy the story!

Ben Solo raced down the halls in pursuit of books. He had always sought the truth in life and read countless books to find the information he needed. Factual books never lied. Human people could and did.

 

People like his family, hiding the truth from him. People like Rey, saying she would help him in his time of need, but still abandoning him in the end to deal with Luke. 

 

He had proved them all wrong, though. Even his mother, the symbol of hope and mother of the Resistance, had just about given up on him. She didn't think he would return in any way from the Dark Side.

 

Rey, too, chose wrongly. She didn't trust him, and that betrayal had hurt most of all.

 

After she closed the door on him at the Battle of Crait, he questioned everything in his life. He now had the power and had forgone attachments. And yet, he felt so empty and alone. 

 

He made changes accordingly. He would do something that she would be proud of, that would make her run back to him because she - and the whole galaxy - deserved better, and he wanted to bring about real change from the normal order of things.

 

He did make a new order out of the First Order. He reorganized everything, spreading it out and making it less stable.

 

Hux had been furious when he finagled that in his first month. He had learned some things from his politician of a mother, and because he was known for being so bad with people, everyone wanted to agree with him to make him happy and to get away from him.

 

He hated the day-to-day responsibilities of ruling. He thought he would enjoy the power, but after a few weeks of always being disturbed, despite more and more Force-choking, he really didn't. 

 

The emptiness grew with time. There was nothing to be gained, except having the pleasure to say, “I told you so,” and even that felt hollow.

 

There was no one to share it with. 

 

He began to wonder why his grandfather had wanted the power. It felt so lonely at the top.

 

Rey was tight-lipped whenever the Force did connect them at odd hours, and she never sought him out. At first, she had seemed embarrassed. After that, she seemed resigned and quiet.

 

He never found out why. He tried pushing her for answers once to bridge the distance between them, but nothing came of it. If she wasn't going to give him everything, then neither was he.

 

He would have given it all to her. He had been so brutally honest with her. He hardened his heart to the best of his ability. 

 

He closed his heart off from her after three months of little help. He had considered asking her one last time beforehand, but he was too afraid. He had become scared to show his true feelings to her, lest she reject him again. 

 

Nothing was worth becoming that close only to be rejected and be left alone. Not even love. He thought their bond was the answer he had always needed, but he was wrong. 

 

Nothing was worth being hurt like that.

 

Not surprisingly, that was also around the same time he became burned out from being Supreme Leader. 

 

Something had to change in this constant war between him and the Resistance. He didn't want to wait and let them grow. 

 

So, he cared less about instilling fear, and more about doing the things he had always wanted to do ever since he was young and had idealistic plans.

 

He got rid of slavery and removed all trace of the Hutts and their criminal underworld. 

 

He invested in more technology, after much prodding from Hux, but he included more research for peaceful purposes, rather than only weapons.

 

Nine months into his reign, Hux tried to stage a coup, but Ben was able to snuff it out thanks to others preferring him to Hux. 

 

The coup was the turning point for him. He knew what he had to do: help set up peace. He had to get rid of this mantle of power that he no longer wanted so that he could go back to training and learning.

 

He didn't care that he was rejecting the legacy of Darth Vader; the power wasn't enough for him anymore.

 

He let Hux live to prove a point, that he had changed. Hux was forever grateful after that.

 

Making the decision to find a peaceful solution helped him find the first sense of peace outside of Rey.

 

There were many in the First Order who wanted peace. They didn't say it out loud, but as he took the steps, more came out of the woodwork to help him when Hux balked.

 

A year into his reign, he tried to get a hold of Rey once more. He would need her help with the next phase of his plan. 

 

He  _ had  _ to convince her to let him have an audience with the Resistance. 

 

He went to his private work room, where he was least likely to be disturbed. There, he meditated and calmed himself before he sought out Rey.

 

Meditation had become a little easier once he decided to work toward peace. It was as though the Force agreed with him for once. He still wasn't where he desired to be, but he had much to unlearn.

 

When he was in the right state, he reached out to Rey, his first time doing so since making the decision. 

 

It was tentative at first, his fear coloring everything he saw and heard, and when she didn't seem to fight him, her presence filled his room.

 

Suddenly, he was transported to the Millennium Falcon, the pile of junk still alive as Rey attempted to fix something on it.

 

“Ben?” asked a surprised Rey.

 

He felt her accelerated heartbeat through their bond; everything in the bond had strengthened over time. Her heightened emotions put him even more ill at ease, but he was determined to see this through. 

 

He struggled to speak. He moved forward, his eyes begging her to somehow read his mind.

 

The look of entreaty, combined with his sense of resolve, was new to Rey. It taught her to hope, as she had never allowed herself to hope before. 

 

Perhaps all her waiting would pay off. Perhaps her feelings were returned. 

 

She got up and approached him as well.

 

“What is it, Ben?”

 

“I need your help,” he said.

 

His words sent many conflicting feelings through her. Hope mingled with fear and disappointment, and everything in between.

 

As he looked at her, he seemed afraid of her, of her response. She understood why; their last meeting hadn't gone well. She was partially to blame for it, and she had always wanted to make up for it.

 

“I said nothing on the  _ Supremacy _ ; I won't do that again. Tell me what you need,” she said gently.

 

“I need to meet with the Resistance leaders. The galaxy needs peace, and I intend to make it happen.”

 

“I believe you,” she said, starting to reach out to him but then stopping herself. “I'll help you.”

 

He felt it in their bond, her belief and trust in him in that moment. It soothed some ruffled part of him. 

 

They discussed all that he had in mind. She disagreed about certain small points, and they debated those in future conversations over the next two months. 

 

It could have been done much sooner if they weren't both so stubborn, so determined to speak for their respective sides rather than just focus on the bigger picture. However, both found that hard to do in the other's presence. 

 

After that, Rey had a solid idea of what was going to happen, and she went to the Resistance. 

 

Leia had given over the reins to Poe to lead, while she watched from afar and continued to seek out old friends and support.

 

Her network was wide, and they were steadily growing in numbers. Rey had been reading and training, helping out the Resistance in whatever capacity they needed.

 

Rey had become more of a loner since Crait. She loved her friends and spent plenty of time with them, but something was missing. She felt more isolated than ever, and she had taken to talking to Leia more and more, partially to find someone else who was Force-sensitive, and also to talk about Ben. Leia figured out quickly that the two were bonded after feeling his presence during the random times they spoke. Leia loved talking about her son, and it gave her more hope as Ben led the First Order. 

 

Rey talked to Leia first for ideas on how to present him at a meeting for peace talks, and then the plan was set in motion.

 

\-----

 

“I'd like to introduce a new topic at today's meeting: peace talks with the First Order,” Rey said as she stood.

 

All but Leia made sounds of surprise.

 

“If the First Order doesn't want it, then why should we even discuss it?” asked Poe.

 

“Because they do want it,” she said, going to the door and opening it slowly.

 

All gasped as Kylo Ren, in his usual black and cape, stepped into the room. 

 

Rey saw hands go for blasters, and she immediately stepped in front of Ben, her eyes narrowing at everyone and hands reaching out to shield him. Ben even heard a low growl come from her throat. It pleased him at a level he didn't want to think about.

 

“I told you the First Order wanted to talk peace. Give him a chance,” she snapped.

 

“Put away your weapons. I have none with me,” said Ben calmly. “I want the same thing as you, to end this fight.”

 

Granted, his lightsaber was just outside the room, tied to Rey's by a red string she owned, but still. 

 

When everyone had put their weapons away, Rey still refused to move, regarding them all suspiciously. 

 

Ben reached out with a gloveless hand and touched her shoulder. A shockwave went through them both at the real touch, instead of only through their bond.

 

Leaning forward, he said softly, “Rey, thank you. I couldn't have done it without you.”

 

She nodded, not looking at him.

 

“You can move now,” he continued with a slight grin. “I think they understand.”

 

Her arms fell down, even as his touch lingered. When she turned to face him, he finally removed his hand, missing her presence already. When she saw his amusement, she snorted quietly.

 

As she went to her seat, he took the only open one, which happened to be close to her.

 

The talks began slowly, but they made headway. It wasn't until Rey suggested something that had been a concession for her that the others all cried out in unfairness.

 

Clearly Rey understood them well, but she persisted with Ben to make the point.

 

When she got into it with one of the members of the council, it eventually led to him accusing her of being on Ben's side and taking hold of his weapon again.

 

That was the  _ wrong _ thing to do.

 

Before the councilman knew it, his weapon was flying out of his hands and against a wall, where it shattered into many pieces.

 

All looked at a shocked Rey, and then an enraged Ben.

 

“Don't touch her,” threatened Ben darkly before turning to everyone else with a sneer. “He should trust his own people. There's no need for weapons here. I just wanted to remind him.”

 

“Ben!” hissed Rey as she turned to face him. “I can fight my own battles, thank you very much.”

 

“I know you can. That just happened to be a quicker natural instinct,” he said smoothly. 

 

Rey huffed and allowed him that. 

 

The rest of the talks that day went by without incident, and the rest of the week went smoothly. Ben only sent a few more weapons and items flying.

 

After their goal was accomplished, Ben and Rey went their separate ways. Spending so much time with Rey brought up old feelings that Ben didn't want to deal with. When Rey seemed to realize that he was avoiding her, she was hurt, but she gave him a wide berth.

 

\----------

 

In the weeks that followed the peace talks and official signing of a peace treaty, the Resistance realized that Ben and Rey's united front was only temporary. They had done it out of necessity, and when confronted with new issues, the two butted heads almost always. 

 

It was almost amazing that the two had been able to get along in the peace talks, but then again, the others hadn't been there during the very loud arguments. The ones now where the walls and windows rattled were minor compared to the initial ones.

 

Once it became clear that Rey was happy to go toe-to-toe with Ben on any issue and wasn't afraid of him, she was designated as their spokesperson for the big issues as they cropped up.  The lesser ones were handled by Hux and Poe, or whoever they delegated.

 

It took Hux some time to get off his high horse and stop sneering at all the lesser Rebel scum, but between Force-choke reminders and showdowns with Leia and Poe, he came around. He was even pleasant toward Rey after seeing how powerful she was.

 

Ben and Rey's arguments became well-known throughout both sides. Some loved watching the fireworks, while others avoided the angry Force-users. The only time all watched was when it turned into a lightsaber duel. 

 

Rey had rebuilt the legacy lightsaber, and she was almost always the first one to jump for her saber. Ben always looked amused when she did, which annoyed her to no end.  She tried to ignore the look of betrayal he always sent her way first.

 

He preferred to settle things in a battle of wits, using his superior book knowledge to win and to avoid hurting her. Rey got tired of talking in circles at some point, or else felt they needed a break from the arguing - they both wordlessly agreed that arguing was pointless normally - and she pulled out her lightsaber.

 

When that happened, they began an ancient dance, thrusting and feinting until both were worn out, usually with no clear winner. They were too evenly matched, especially after the first five duels and learning the other's usual methods.

 

Their dancing around one another became their default responses over time, even as the two defended the other tirelessly.

 

There were some in the Resistance who had felt at first that Ben was using some kind of Jedi mind trick on Rey to make her agree with him. It wasn't until they saw her fight him that they knew that she wasn't being controlled, but they still doubted his loyalties. 

 

He proved himself in that respect about six months into their tentative peace, when Leia collapsed to the ground. 

 

Ben had felt her pain at once, and Rey felt it through the bond because he was deeply troubled. Both ran for Leia until they found her surrounded by people, a doctor suggesting something wrong with her heart.

 

Rey had no idea what to do, but Ben did. He shoved everyone out of the way and asked for complete silence as he attempted to use skills from the Light that he was really rusty with. He could use some Light Side abilities, just as Rey tapped into her anger and darkness sometimes when they fought. 

 

He tried to meditate and find that calm, but couldn't at first. It wasn't until Rey placed a hand on his shoulder that he found the inner balance he needed. 

 

Reaching out, he used the Force to heal Leia, and Rey stood beside him and connected to him as he did, ready to support him.

 

When Leia awoke looking and feeling younger, no one doubted that Ben Solo wanted peace. He weakened himself for his mother's sake, even if he still wouldn't embrace her after that incident. 

 

He hadn't been able to since joining sides. He didn't feel comfortable doing so.

 

\-----------

 

Rey and Ben would have continued to dance around one another without word or the briefest of touches were it not for a great disaster that befell the tenuous peace.

 

One large system was having difficulty maintaining a food supply. A drought occurred in a few places; crops were destroyed by the weather in others. Supply ships failed.

 

When everything boiled into one large melting pot of worry about what to do for the food supply there and whatever galaxy was hit next, both Rey and Ben took to their default responses to find a solution. 

 

Ben looked in book after book, scouring the Empire's and Resistance’s records for a suitable solution. He looked at countless records of plants to find one that could be beneficial, as well as where to find them.

 

After three weeks of being holed up in various rooms, he found the perfect plant, a crossover breed between wheat and rice that could survive in any climate. It was called thwice. 

 

The issue was that he still couldn't locate it. He was sure the name was due to its planet of origin. He told a few people, but not Rey. He was determined to find a solution before her.

 

Rey, for her part, went into a private room to fall into a trance and meditate until she had to stop. In that quiet time, she looked for answers from the Force. She kept on asking what plant to look for. The Force kept rejecting her, showing her dozens of planets instead.

 

After two weeks of stubborn resistance, Rey finally realized that the Force was showing her something equally important, so she changed her question: where was the plant located?

 

At that, the dozens of planets zoomed by in succession as she continued to search through the unknown regions. Day after day she tried various ones, all rejected until she finally was led to a small, green and blue planet that resembled Takodana, at least from what she saw of it. It seemed to be teeming with forests and animals. 

 

When she asked for the name, the word “Themarwill” was whispered through her mind.

 

At that, she rushed into the meeting room, where Ben was already seated.

 

“I already found the plant,” said a smug Ben.

 

“You may know that, but I know where it's located. Themarwill,” Rey taunted.

 

Ben inwardly groaned as he heard the name. It was definitely that planet.

 

“Children,” intoned Leia. “Has it ever occurred to either of you that you work much better when together, not apart? Have you both just wasted three weeks when you could've done it sooner by not repeating work?”

 

“I'm not sure,” said a chagrined Rey. “Maybe. I tried so long to find the plant's identity, but the Force kept rejecting me.”

 

“Most likely because I already found the thwice.”

 

He had no right to look so high and mighty.

 

“Then why didn't you tell me? Or for that matter, how long did you search for a location yourself? How many hours in that library did you waste?”

 

Ben’s face fell as Leia cut in, “Enough. I want you two working together on this. Find out a little more about this Themarwill, and then both of you head for that planet together. Bring back a large amount of it so that we can mass-produce it.”

 

Both began to protest, but Leia trudged on.

 

“It's clear to me that you have some unresolved issues to work out, if your arguments are any indication. I suggest you discuss that while you're out gallivanting. Perhaps you can learn to be a team, as you were in the beginning of all this.”

 

Leia got up and made her way to the shocked pair.

 

“Besides,” she said in an undertone, “having a united front would be better for this endeavor. How can peace be maintained when you snip at each other like that? Plus, you're the best-suited ones for unknown enemies on Themarwill. You can use the Force to protect yourselves if all else fails. Any further comments?”

 

Both shook their heads and left the room, knowing they were dismissed.

 

“Don't expect anything weak and touchy-feely from me ever again. I'm  _ never _ going to want to want to discuss that sort of thing with you,” he said, turning to face Rey in the hallway.

 

“I feel similarly,” she said, trying to hide the hurt she felt. She  _ wanted  _ to talk things out with him, but she wasn't about to force him to do it.

 

“Let's go to the library. It's quiet; you can meditate there while I find the books discussing Themarwill. There were three, I believe,” said a chastened Ben.

 

A resigned Rey followed.

 

\---------

 

The fact-finding mission was a quick, resounding success. Both left the other alone unless they needed to ask a question about what they had found so far, mostly for Rey’s sake as she refined her questions.

 

After that and a restful night's sleep, the two set out for Themarwill with the goodwill of everyone, onboard one of Ben's ships since Chewie was using the  _ Falcon. _

 

“I wish I could be a fly on the wall as they decide on a plan,” joked Poe. “Them in close quarters must be even more entertaining.”

 

“You're incorrigible,” muttered Leia with good humor. “Getting between them is dangerous on a good day. Let's have hope in them.”

 

“I give them two hours before they start arguing,” said Poe as he turned to head back to work. 

 

Leia shook her head and hoped that the shared mission would help.

 

\----------

 

They started arguing within the first hour. 

 

“We should split up and search the planet when we arrive. We'll cover more ground that way,” said Ben.

 

“No, we shouldn't. Your mother instructed us-"

 

“Do you want to get this done sooner or not? It doesn't matter what she said. We both work better alone, do we not?”

 

“Yes, of course-"

 

“Then we should do that. This is a one person job. Either one of us could do this just fine. It would still work out,” he interrupted.

 

“Yes, it could, but I don't think we should do that."

 

Rey kept on pushing, so he decided to bring out what he was sure was the best argument for her.

 

“Besides, do you really want to be stuck with me for all that time?” he asked evenly, with only the slightest hint of rancor in his voice.

 

Rey had another moment of realization about Ben, just like when he had admitted to being a monster in their second Force bond.

 

Back then, he seemed resigned to his fate. Now, he seemed the same, accepting that she didn't want to be near him at all.

 

Why he felt that way baffled and annoyed her, but she was determined to pick at that later, after all this was done. Her first instinct in the past would have been to demand something from him at once, but she was trying to improve, especially with him.

 

As Rey blinked and stared him down, Ben grew uncomfortable as he watched a flurry of emotions pass through. She seemed upset. 

 

A moment later, though, her eyes became sad.

 

“Oh. I'm sorry. I don't feel that way. I only acted like that because you seemed to want distance.”

 

Ben opened his mouth to protest, but she seemed to recall something else.

 

“Except for right after Crait. I was confused by your actions then.”

 

“I still don't think it's wise-"

 

“But isn't there safety in numbers? I know we're both capable of defending ourselves, but what about carrying the plant? What about those rumors and legends?”

 

Ben was quickly finding it difficult to argue with her.

 

He was so used to the opposite that it was odd to see her  _ want  _ him again.

 

“I think it's better to stick together for this,” she continued softly, seeing his hesitation. 

 

“Fine. Just don't expect me to start sharing myself with you, though.”

 

She nodded and then went back to putting together their daypacks for traversing the unknown planet.

 

“So the books said it's a warm planet, right?” she asked, debating on including a jacket for extra warmth at night.

 

Ben, in his habitual black and long sleeves, looked at Rey in her loose-fitting vest and pants, in tones of gray and light brown, perfect in any weather. 

 

“Yes, even at night. Include more water; it's humid,” he said.

 

She hummed her agreement as they fell into silence.

 

After a time, she spoke up again, “So, do you believe the written rumors? That there's no sentient or humanoid life on the planet?”

 

“What did the Force show you?” he returned, wanting to know.

 

“I saw none as I floated above.”

 

“Good. Then we're in agreement. I'll believe it when I see it.”

 

“I didn't see any kind of special Force signature there, though,” said Rey thoughtfully. “I thought I would since the rumors spoke of magic happening.”

 

“Everything odd or magical is blamed on the Force. We have nothing to worry about,” said Ben dismissively. “I'm sure it has nothing to do with the Force at all. The Force is never that strongly attached to a planet, anyway.”

 

“Alright. But I still think it's odd that there's seemingly no humanoid life there,” she said, turning back to her preparations.

 

Ben huffed and went back to his notes about the plant. He was debating what kind of container to bring with them that would hold the most.

 

He decided on narrow, deep durasteel ones with carrying handles on them.

 

As they finished making all the necessary preparations, they entered the system they were looking for. They dropped out of hyperspace close to the planet's atmosphere, and then hauled themselves to the front of the ship to look out for anything out of the ordinary.

 

Ben saw no ships or other protections around the planet, so he guided them in. 

 

Rey looked at the planet as a whole when she suddenly saw the outline of a porg’s face in the clouds making up Themarwill’s atmosphere. 

 

For a moment, the cute, wide eyes made her smile as she imagined going back to hug the families of porgs that she, along with everyone else in the Resistance, had adopted.

 

But then, the wide eyes turned into narrow slits, a menacing, almost maniacal look appearing in the porg’s visage.

 

Rey froze in surprise, making Ben look at her in confusion. 

 

“Rey?”

 

Just as quickly, the vision of the porg in the clouds disappeared. It was probably nothing but an overactive imagination. 

 

“It's nothing. I'm seeing weird shapes in the clouds.”

 

His look told her he didn't believe her, but let it slide. 

 

Rey was amazed again by the sheer amount of green that filled her sight as they passed through the clouds. Giant, old trees - based on the drop-off between the tree tops and sporadic clearings - crowded and covered the ground completely, other than a few strategically placed clearings in the trees. 

 

Most of the clearings were small, barely big enough to contain their ship. The grass in all of them seemed just as lush and green as the leafy trees that dominated the environment. It took a little searching, but they found a clearing triple the size of any other seen, giving them plenty of space to get their bearings. 

 

As they landed on the densely wooded planet, they checked all the readings from the ship and ensured that they could breathe on the planet. With that confirmed, they each put on their daypacks and grabbed their plant containers. 

 

“I'll go first,” insisted Ben as they approached the ramp. 

 

Rey shook her head at his need to be first but let it be. 

 

It was only a planet. The porg she had imagined wasn't real; nothing was going to happen to them here that would be life-changing. 

 

“Go ahead,” she agreed.

 

He smiled, and the ship opened up. He kept his eye out for anything suspicious as he walked down the ramp, and seeing nothing, he stepped on the ground.

 

“See, Rey?” he asked as she followed tentatively. “There's nothing to worry about here at all.”

 

As she stepped on the ground, a wind suddenly blew around them, and Ben turned into a black loth-wolf, still just as tall as her.


	2. For Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's a black loth-wolf, and they are confused. Nothing a little arguing, some fighting, and some reluctant seeking of comfort can't fix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still don't own Star Wars. This form of Ben was one the earliest that I had imagined when planning this story. I hope you enjoy it!

Panic filled Rey momentarily as she gazed at a figure that had come straight out of her dreams. 

 

Not nightmares, though. There were other creatures and animals in her nightmares, but not this one.

 

_ This feels….odd. _

 

Ben tried to speak, but it came out as a growl. The look of confusion filling his eyes was at turns funny and painful. 

 

There was nothing she could do in that moment. He felt just as powerless, but he had been so dismissive of the Force on this planet. Now his internal monologue was being broadcasted to her as he tried to figure out a solution, still not acknowledging Rey. 

 

_ Why can't I stand up or talk, yet I’m still the same height? Why am I pacing? And why do I have a tail? Rey! _

 

He stopped moving when he was facing her.

 

“You're no longer human, Ben. You've been turned into a loth-wolf,” she said, slightly amused.

 

He stopped and considered this. He looked down at his hands and discovered paws, his black daypack and plant container strewn around him.

 

_ So it seems. Why can't I speak, though? I understood some loth-wolves could talk. Then again, this does seem to be my lot. I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. _

 

Rey reflected that some things never changed, especially when they involved Ben. At turns he was academic-sounding in light of new things, and otherwise, he was melodramatic. 

 

“I had no idea some wolves could talk.”

 

He grumbled to himself in response.

 

_ Why couldn't you have told me that I was a wolf sooner? _

 

Now his voice held an accusatory tone. That wasn't going to fly. She put her hands on her hips.

 

“You didn't ask me. You seemed ready to puzzle it through by yourself and ignore the legends,” she replied angrily as she stepped forward.

 

He was a little defensive after that.

 

_ What happened to working together as a team? _

 

She eyed him for that low blow and reminded him of his earlier words,  “So you're ready to share and discuss the touchy-feely stuff now?”

 

He had the presence of mind to look a little humbled before remembering something he had felt through the bond while he had been pacing.

 

_ At least admit that you were amused by this. I felt it. _

 

She shrugged.

 

“Fine, I was. A little. But it's not often a giant loth-wolf that's as big as you chases his tail while asking why he has a tail.”

 

The sound he made in his chest was warm and light, yet still just as deep as she remembered from him. 

 

His voice had always held a certain allure to her, and when it was buried in his chest like this, she liked it more.

 

_ I suppose that is unique. Don't expect this to happen often. Why did this happen to me, though? _

 

“How should I know, Ben? I'm just as lost as you. We're out of our depth. I'm not all-knowing.”

 

_ Clearly. _

 

Rey felt herself reaching for her lightsaber out of habit. He was being difficult and talking too much. She just wanted him to shut up sometimes, before he inserted his foot in his mouth yet again.

 

He meant well, but he constantly frustrated her. 

 

Every time she pulled out her weapon, he gave her a look, not quite one of betrayal like on the  _ Supremacy,  _ but something equally hurt and confused.

 

She had been working on her impulsive behavior ever since Crait. She had messed up with Ben, and yet ever since they had started working together, she reverted back to it.

 

Why did he bring out the best and worst in her?

 

She consciously pulled her hand away and heard a soft sigh from Ben. 

 

_ A lightsaber fight is rather impossible right now, given the circumstances.  _

 

“I'm trying to resist the urge to do something. You're  _ not _ helping,” she gritted out, refusing to look at him.

 

_ Am I really that repulsive to look at? Every time we argue, you seem to look away right before you reach for your weapon. It's your tell. _

 

“Ben, now is  _ not  _ the time to-"

 

_ When is?  _

 

_ “ _ Why does it have to be about me?  _ You're _ the one who feels like the world owes him something after being treated horribly. Let's talk about that instead since you're in a sharing mood now.”

 

_ Then have the guts to look at me. _

 

She heard the silent plea in his voice, and with it, all of her fight left her. She didn't understand why he even wanted her to look at him.

 

She did as he desired, finding his very human eyes just as expressive and intoxicating as ever. She took a hesitant step toward him.

 

“I'm sorry, Ben. It's not that I find you repulsive. It’s quite the opposite. When I look into your eyes, though, I can't think straight.”

 

His eyes dilated slightly, and his ears perked up, his interest piqued as he recognized something else similar between them. Rey could feel his palpable excitement through their bond. 

 

_ I understand. Every time I see you, all rational thought flees. _

 

He stepped in front of her as he spoke, and his inner monologue stopped as his nostrils flared. 

 

No one  _ should be able to smell as good as you always do. _

 

Rey snorted, earning her a glare.

 

When her levity faded, they were still staring at one another, unsure what to do. Every word seemed to only compound their problems, and Rey still felt helpless as she looked at him.

 

“Ben, I'm worried. What if you don't change back? What if we can't stay calm and figure something out? What if-"

 

_ Enough. We will. Come here, Rey. _

 

She did as he requested. She put out her arms, not really sure what he wanted, but as he stepped into her embrace, she understood. 

 

_ I can't hold your hand, but I can do this. I'm here, Rey. _

 

She embraced him fully at that, hugging him tightly to herself. She could never know that he had always longed for her to hold him like this; he only wished he was human to fully appreciate it. 

 

Her arms were strong and warm, so accepting of him in a way no one else was. Those open arms could destroy every single one of his walls, if she ever figured it out. He'd tell her everything within their cradle and comfort.

 

Rey wasn't sure what Ben did to keep calm, but her default was meditating, as well as telling herself it would be okay and rationalizing it. 

 

She kept her method of reassuring herself to herself  normally, but in this moment, dreams collided with reality in a weird way since it involved Ben. Ever since they had touched across galaxies, Rey had held on to that solid vision of Ben's future and her role beside him. It had gotten her through many lonely nights and moments when she was low on hope. The Force wouldn't have shown her that without a reason, and she had been willing to wait for him. 

 

Now, she was seeing him and his conscious choices and admiring him for them. This was the Ben she had fallen in love with, and still loved.  His behavior toward her since Crait had been cold and quiet, except when he wanted to bicker, but now, she had something small that she could hold on to, that little tidbit of how much he liked how she smelled. 

 

It was so weird, but such a Ben thing to do. Every little detail was important to him, and she wondered how many others there were in his mind.

 

When she first touched his fur near his neck, a deep, contented sigh echoed through Ben, and she felt the vibrations even as she enjoyed the feel of the thick fur. 

 

How the sound made her insides feel was something that she'd rather not think about too closely. Those thoughts and feelings were dangerous. She didn't want to indulge them until she had some idea that Ben returned them.

 

It was surreal and fascinating as she slid her hand up and down his neck, his warm, slightly curly fur just as soft as she had always imagined his hair to be. 

 

She was surprised to watch him lean his body into her touch. She didn't react or say anything, though, for fear of ruining the moment. Instead, she just continued slowly, eventually scratching him behind his ears and rubbing the top of his head. He liked the attention behind the ears most.

 

His eyes seemed far away before glazing over as she continued. She sensed that his mind was at peace, as it had never been so quiet, nor had his face ever been so devoid of expression beside the slight smile that overtook his face.

 

It was a curious thing to behold, but eventually, a groggy syllable floated through Ben’s mind. At that, his eyes became laser-focused on Rey, who was still enjoying the moment. She hadn't had time to react and hide her feelings.

 

For a moment, they locked gazes, and then, he deliberately spoke, making her pause.

 

_ What are we doing here? How do we fix this? _

 

She had no coherent answer for the first question. She had been indulging in this for too long. They were wasting time. 

 

As for the second question, her mind kept going back to one answer: ask the Force.

 

She pulled away from him, and it seemed to dump a figurative bucket of ice water on them both. The lack of warmth combined with how they retreated into themselves was chilling after being connected and feeling so calm. 

 

“I'm not sure. Perhaps the Force can help?”

 

He nodded seriously and took to sniffing the soft, overgrown grass first, then the dirt and rocky grounds underneath the hundreds of years old maple and oak trees that towered over them. The bright clearing that they had landed in was bare of anything but grass, and the tall sentinels of trees protected their ship well. After going around in a big circle, Ben came back to Rey, his expression more hopeful. 

 

_ I found a spot that's clear of any other scents. It's close to the woods as well, so you'll be a little better hidden while you meditate. _

 

He used the top of his head to nudge Rey’s back toward the spot in the dirt, close to a tree trunk that would require at least three people together to span the circumference. The unexpected touch of his head made her move quickly. 

 

Right before she sat down, she deliberately turned to face him.

 

“I'm sorry about earlier, with the lightsaber. I've been trying to cure that impulsive streak for so long. First I attacked Luke, then I betrayed you-"

 

_ You actually attacked my uncle? When? I want to imagine this. _

 

He seemed genuinely shocked and pleased at the same time. 

 

“On Ahch-To, right after he interrupted us touching hands. I was furious,” she said, sliding a hand behind her neck.

 

_ You did that….for me? _

 

She nodded, surprised that he figured it out. 

 

_ In the future, tell me if I talk too much. I'd much prefer that to you reaching for a saber and starting a duel between us. It's good for the group’s morale, but…. _

 

Every time she reached for her weapon, it still felt like a betrayal to him. She understood.

 

“I'll tell you. As well as keep staring at you the way you stare at me when you think I don't notice,” she teased. Then she added seriously, “It's very unnerving at times.”

 

_ All I have to do is look at you, and I feel similarly. Now sit. We need to get out of here. _

 

She smiled and nodded. When she was in position, he took up guard around her, patrolling the area in a circle and looking for thwice or animals nearby.

 

He kept hoping that their plant would be conveniently close by and that nothing would come hunting them. He didn't like the idea of hurting an innocent animal, but he was ready to do whatever it took to protect Rey. He'd choose to save her every time, just as he had between her and Snoke. 

 

Even now, after she had betrayed him, he would save her without question. The compassion he had developed for her had become something much deeper and was surely capable of hurting him (love and attachment were forbidden for a reason), and she still inspired just as much loyalty and hope as she always had.

 

She had done what she thought was right. He understood that, even if he knew she had made the wrong choice in not choosing someone who would kill for her.

 

And he would do it again. 

 

After ten minutes of her sitting in quiet on the cold dirt, he began to get a little more restless as he guarded her. His annoyance and frustration reached a peak with more time, and she opened her eyes and turned to glare at him.

 

“Even now, when you know your thoughts are being broadcasted to me, you continue on like this, thinking that we're wasting time. It's no wonder you don't meditate well.”

 

_ Did you or didn't you get the answers we need? _

 

He was barely getting out the words as he stalked closer to her. 

 

“Yes, I did. It seems this planet likes to keep things in balance. Every hour, a different humanoid creature will turn into an animal.”

 

He sensed her hesitation.

 

_ But? _

 

“The type of animal is determined by the feelings and thoughts of the person if alone, or by the most common animal form - exactly as imagined - in the thoughts of the surrounding beings.”

 

Rey felt the moment that he snapped. He was a force to be reckoned with, as she had seen before. All the same, the full brunt of him had never been directed at her before. Their duels were more controlled.

 

_ What kind of ridiculous trick of the Force is this?  _

 

He was growling loudly now. His eyes were an angry, dark brown as he bared his teeth at her. 

 

“Ben! That's not everything!” she yelled, choosing to take on his ire with some of her own. She stood toe-to-toe with him.

 

_ Then tell me already! _

 

Now, he loomed over her as he bellowed, even when she straightened herself to full height. 

 

She tried to use a reassuring tone after seeing how fast this was escalating, saying, “Ben, I know we're both scared-"

 

_ Stop invading my thoughts to use them against me, and  _ do  _ something useful! Dueling won't help you right now. I would destroy you! _

 

That nasty command sent her a few steps backward. Ben saw the hurt in her eyes, and felt some sense of fear from her in that moment.

 

He felt ashamed. Horribly so. He had done this to her, the one person who had seen light in him and believed in him.

 

What if she never trusted him again? 

 

He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

 

_ Rey, I'm sorry- _

 

_ “ _ You're forgiven,” she said at once, meaning every word. “We’re both angry and confused. We say things we shouldn't, but that's why we need to forgive ourselves and one another.”

 

_ It's not that easy.  _

 

“I know,” she said, taking small steps toward him. “But you have to start somewhere.”

 

_ You shouldn't forgive me. I'm a- _

 

“No, you're  _ not _ a monster. Monsters have no conscience. You do. You  _ care,”  _ she insisted. “You're a good person, despite the dark that resides so strongly within you.

 

_ I forgave myself once for that, but it's so easy to fall back on it.  _

 

_ “ _ I understand, and I'll keep reminding you,” she said, looking at him with a brief smile. She recalled something else that she needed to tell him.

 

”It's all a mess, and worse, we only have eight hours to find the thwice before we're both permanently animals on this planet. We will change back once we leave the planet by getting on our ship, but not until then.”

 

She couldn't bear to see his face then, but he seemed to want the eye contact. She would give it to him, even as they wasted time.

 

_ You chose to tell me this last? _

 

Some of his former anger returned anew, but he did better at modulating it. 

 

“I didn't expect you to interrupt me so much-"

 

_ That's not the point. We need to go out and search for this thwice as we talk. _

 

“You call this talking? It's more like you taking out your anger at the situation on me, when I feel just as bad and helpless as you,” she retorted.

 

_ I am - _

 

He stopped his rebuttal when his ears perked up, noting a crunching of sticks from close by.

 

_ Something's close. Stay here. _

 

Rey sputtered as Ben put his back to her and looked around for visitors in the direction he heard.

 

Too late, he heard the noises elsewhere as he turned around.

 

In the opposite direction of him from Rey, a large pack of wild boar-wolves approached her. She reached for her lightsaber, and Ben leapt into action.

 

_ Nothing  _ was going to touch her, let alone hurt her. He did that just fine without any help.

 

He took up a stance between Rey and the brown, furry boars. As he growled and stomped his feet, Rey felt a small sense of pride in him. 

 

For all his talk of wanting to be alone, he had odd ways of showing it. He didn't even blink; he just reacted and shielded her as though it were his only job. At some level, he cared about her.

 

She was still perfectly capable of defending herself, but one couldn't have noticed that from the way Ben howled and marked Rey as his.

 

When the boar-wolves attacked, he wouldn't let any of them come near her. She felt useless in the battle as he unleashed all of his fury for their situation on these animals. 

 

She took to warning him of all the incoming danger, needing to do something. 

 

When two finally got past him and approached her, she fought them easily and took off the head of one with her saber.

 

The other boar-wolf stood in shock at seeing the head flying off, and then Ben attacked and killed it in one deadly leap.

 

One by one, he destroyed the rest of them, taking on one or two at a time, biting, jumping, and clawing at them until they were injured beyond help, or were sent running away.

 

They'd have a great meal after this.

 

Just after the last boar-wolf had run away, Ben turned to face her, his eyes shining with bloodlust and pride, his tone resolute.

 

_ You're safe now. _

 

In that moment, she realized that was all he cared about, her safety. It was heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. It didn't matter that he could make it on his own; he wanted her alive and with him.

 

He padded toward her slowly, seeking her comforting presence after the battle. His eyes reminded Rey of how they had been after killing all of the praetorian guards. 

 

Without warning, the last boar-wolf came rushing at Ben, goring him in the side with its two tusks before Rey was able to kill it and then help him.

 

“Ben! You're losing so much blood. Hold still!”

 

She was about to make a tourniquet for his wound when she realized that nothing she wore and could rip off would be big enough to fit around him. Panicked and fearful, she contented herself with examining and cleaning the wound until she could think of something better to do.

 

Ben was groaning in pain through the bond, and his audible whimpers were getting louder the longer he lost blood.

 

Finally, she said with resolution, “Lie down. I'm going to heal you.”

 

He gave her a concerned look but did as she asked. He was more worried that she would be doing it since she had never tried this before.

 

“Close your eyes, Ben, and stay with me. I refuse to lose you,” she whispered.

 

When he closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind, he felt her put one hand on his wound and the other on his back. All lingering worries disappeared as he embraced her comforting touch.

 

She buried her face in his fur, taking in his presence. She drew strength and peace from it as she found her center in the Force and began to heal him.

 

A gradual warmth filled both of them as the healing finished. When it was done, Ben felt better than ever.

 

Rey, on the other hand, was weak. She lifted off of him briefly to see his toothy smile and healed body.

 

“You're safe now,” she said feebly with an ecstatic smile. 

 

Then she collapsed against him, her arms wrapping around his back and torso.

 

_ Rey?  _

 

He shook his body a little, but upon seeing that she needed rest, he let her stay there and took to ripping apart the last boar-wolf so that they could cook and eat it.

 

As he tore the flesh, he reflected on Rey's actions. He had thought that she would only be protective of him when there was something to be gained, like galaxy-wide peace. 

 

He had misjudged her again, assuming wrongly. He had been doing that a lot lately. How long had he been doing it?

 

They had established that it no longer mattered if he survived this trip on the ship. She could have seriously drained herself, but she didn't seem to care, thinking only of him.

 

It was the most amazing feeling he'd ever felt.

 

Ten minutes later, Rey stirred.

 

“Ben?”

 

_ I'm here. _

 

His gentle, reassuring tone was all she needed. She rubbed her face in his fur, glad that he was alive.

 

“I'm hungry.”

 

He chuckled inwardly.

 

_ Start a fire. The meat’s ready. We're going to feast like Ewoks tonight. _

 

She did so, finding a stick to roast the meat on.

 

As she roasted the boar-wolf, she pressed closer against him and his warmth. 

 

“I had always heard loth-wolves were huge. Now I know the truth,” she said.

 

Ben’s huge ears perked up then flattened themselves against his head as he connected her earlier words with these newest ones. This was why he was a loth-wolf. 

 

_ You've actually thought of me before? Like this? A lot? _

 

There was a certain amount of awe and surprise in his tone. It saddened her to know that he still thought so little of himself and her consideration for him.

 

“Many times, yes,” she admitted, looking at him. “As I got to know you more, you always seemed like a lone wolf.”

 

_ Because I chose to be alone or was forced into it? _

 

“It was a combination of things,” she insisted, looking down at her hands. “Mostly because I always saw myself the same way.”

 

He responded quickly.  _ In what way? _

 

“You understood me and my loneliness because we were one and the same. Two lone wolves struggling together and finding a connection.”

 

There was more that could be said by her, but her mouth was dry. Words were now difficult as the silence turned awkward.

 

When he realized that she wasn't going to continue, he forced the subject. 

 

_ Rey, look at me. _

 

She had never heard his voice sound so demanding. She was afraid to look at him, though. His voice was insistent, but she was sure his eyes would be another matter entirely.

 

_ Rey, please. _

 

She wanted to hold out longer, but it was hard when he used  _ that tone. _ She turned her head and gasped. 

 

His eyes were soft and tender, shining with emotion. They tugged at her, begging her to move closer and show that she acknowledged whatever this was between them.

 

She put aside the food and crawled over to his head, their eyes still locked.

 

When she reached him, he inclined his head softly, even as a sliver of fear entered his eyes.

 

“Ben, you have no reason to be afraid of me. I want to protect you as much as you insist on protecting me.”

 

He blinked as she took his head in her hands and smashed her forehead against his. 

 

_ Let's get out of here. Once you tell me what path the Force suggested, you can climb on my back. _

 

“I'll be fine once I eat,” she mumbled against him. “I'll meditate again to find the full path after this.”

 

He jerked away in surprise, his tone slightly miffed.

 

_ You didn't get that from earlier?  _

 

“No, I was too busy asking questions about how to help you.”

 

He closed his mouth, knowing better than to respond to that. 

 

In the meantime, Rey took a few bites of food, and then a wind picked up around them.

 

“I think it's time-"

 

“Rey!”

 

As Rey was cut off, she noticed that Ben had become a human again. In the next moment, she was turned into an akk dog. Ben rushed to pick up the small, red, scaly dog with short legs.

 

_ Well, Ben, this does indeed feel…. odd. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. In Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is an akk dog, and both are forced to do things that they aren't comfortable doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I still don't own Star Wars or anything else I reference. Both are extremely lonely people, and I've believed that Ben was especially so. My headcanon is that Rey was his first real connection to another person and friend, so he would've viewed her as a friend/companion early on. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story!

Ben stared at Rey in unrestrained wonder.

 

In one moment, he was looking up at her -  for once - as she ate roasted boar-wolf to regain her strength, sitting against him before getting up.

 

Even in that moment, she was strong and unrepentant as she did what she felt was right. 

 

In the next moment, he was tall again as Rey turned from a human into an akk dog. 

 

Now, she was short, no taller than his knees, and the eyes that had always seen through him became even more soulful as they became blue.

 

He had always wanted a pet, a companion, growing up. His parents refused every time, as had Luke. He didn't even bother with Snoke.

 

Instead, he always dreamed of what kind of pet he would have. At a young age, he had read and heard stories of the akk dog, a four-legged red beast that was as loyal as it was fierce.  When he found out from legends that some akk dogs were Force-sensitive, he had wanted one for himself, a small one that would stand by his side.

 

One day, while on a mission for Snoke, he finally saw an akk dog in the flesh. Its red, scaly skin, horns, and blue eyes were all there, as he had always heard. He saw one of the smaller varieties of dogs, rather than the giant beasts that were better known. 

 

As he stared at Rey, he found himself nostalgic for that time in his life, but also intensely annoyed with the Force. 

 

This was definitely its idea of irony, the worst kind of joke. She was the only person he had ever wanted or imagined as the companion of his life. Of course it would choose to give it to him now, when he couldn't have her, and was too afraid to seek her out. 

 

After seeing her fierceness on Starkiller Base, he had started comparing her to an akk dog. Those comparisons had changed with time, but this one was the most persistent. 

 

Even in her new form, she seemed weaker, with more panting breaths, but she had the presence of mind to look around herself when he put her down, allowing her to discover her change in stature. 

 

After making a quick circle, she trotted toward him, an inquiring look on her face. 

 

_ Ben, what am I? I don't recognize this animal. _

 

He found himself smiling as he said, “You're an akk dog, a Force-sensitive reptomammal. Your skin can withstand the blow of a lightsaber, and your teeth can crush durasteel. You're a fearsome little one.”

 

The snort of laughter that bubbled through their connection turned into a high-pitched growl from the animal as it threw its head back. 

 

Ben found himself a little confused as to why she was responding thusly. 

 

As he stood there quietly puzzling, Rey's laughter died down. She took in his baffled look and moved closer. 

 

_ Sorry, Ben, but the sound of awe in your voice as you told me I was small yet fearsome was too much. I suppose you've always seen me that way. _

 

“Well, yes,” he replied, surprised at how quickly she understood him. “Ever since you probed my mind.”

 

She had fascinated him ever since their first meeting. He didn't fear her until she proved herself his equal by voicing his fears. Anyone who knew that was dangerous, even if it made them weirdly intimate. 

 

He would've continued to stand there stupidly, curiously inspecting Rey, were it not for her.

 

_ I don't think it's a good idea for me to meditate and find the right path now that I've been turned. Ben, would you? I'll guard you. _

 

Her eyes pleaded with him to agree. Once he got out of his stupor, he disagreed heartily.

 

“No. We both know that you're the superior one at meditating and connecting to the Force. You trust it in a way that I struggle to. I only want to control it.”

 

_ We don't have time to wait an hour before I turn. We need to move forward. You  _ have  _ to do it. Don't you see? _

 

Oh, he saw what needed to be done, but he had no desire to show what little his power of concentration would do. Nor did he wish to open himself up to injury.

 

“You're weak, just as I'm weak in this task you ask of me. How are you going to protect me when you're not fully recovered?”

 

_ I'm plenty strong, and apparently my teeth and skin will be a great defense. Plus, the animals could hurt you while I meditate. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened. Please, Ben? _

 

“No.”

 

She headed toward him, and he made an about-face to avoid her and tried to use his longer legs to stay in front of her.

 

_ Ben, what happened to let the past die? Are you going to just run away from your problems and past, instead of facing them? _

 

He stopped, his hands becoming fists. He had fixed this previously; he was  _ not  _ reverting back. 

 

“I'm not running away,” he grit out.

 

_ Says the one running from a tiny dog. _

 

“Fine,” he mumbled at last, making her smile brilliantly. “But only to prove you wrong. I need absolute quiet, though.”

 

He could see the writing on the wall. He wasn't going to win this argument, and she wouldn't judge him for his inability to fully connect. Knowing her, she would want to help, but accepting that from her would likely push him toward her even more. He didn't want it, but this mission was more important than him.

 

He settled on the ground near the forest. As he calmed his mind, he heard little twigs cracking and leaves crunching from her as she paced and circled him. 

 

Eventually she stopped when she realized that it was messing with his ability to concentrate. He heard her chewing instead, which put him at ease. She needed strength. 

 

When he was calm, he reached out with the Force, asking where to go and how to collect the thwice. 

 

After a time of running aimlessly through trees and staring at Rey, it seemed hopeless, and he stopped. 

 

Rey felt his frustration through their connection and from that flowed the shame and guilt. He wanted to do it, for their sake, and his inability to do it sent him down a dark path.

 

Using the skills of the Dark Side was one thing. He did that regularly, for training and helping others. Going down a dark, emotional spiral was another.

 

Using her newfound strength from the food, she headed toward him and his face burrowed in his hands.

 

“Stay away,” he grumbled. “Not right now.”

 

He felt her concern. It wasn't pity; he could rage against that. Her concern - her compassion - for him overwhelmed him. He didn't know how it was possible. 

 

He was a failure. He was useless to her and the mission. It was-

 

Warm. Suddenly much warmer than he expected. 

 

Rey.

 

At some point, she had waddled over to him and snuggled herself against him.

 

_ A friendly presence always lifts my spirits. I'm here, Ben.  _

 

He allowed himself to put a hand on the side of her, to touch her scales. They were dry and peculiar, nothing like what he imagined. He was glad he hadn't touched the akk dog previously; this was a better first time since it was with Rey.

 

The dark thoughts fled him at last, but his mood still wasn't where Rey wanted it.

 

“It's no good, Rey. I'm afraid.”

 

She nudged him with her head.

 

_ Of what? Tell me. _

 

“Of failure. Of screwing this up for us, and for the galaxy. Of-"

 

He stopped suddenly, and his hand squeezed her against him. As he did, images penetrated their bond of boar-wolves, then of Rey on the ground, bleeding out.

 

He was afraid of losing her.

 

Rey wished she had hands; she wanted to pull him against her and prove that he wouldn't ever again.

 

_ You'll never lose me, Ben. I promise. Don't worry; I'm afraid of losing you, too. _

 

It went deeper than just losing him on that planet, though. The thought of him forever severing their tie, of him dying, terrified her.

 

He had always been there, even if they stopped the connection. His presence in the Force was an anchor for her.

 

“Rey.”

 

He was looking down at her now as though she had given him the most precious gift she had.

 

It made Rey a little uncomfortable, but thankfully he couldn't tell she was blushing since she was already red.

 

_ It's true. Is there anything I can do to help otherwise? _

 

Ben struggled to find words to explain. He needed to find peace. The problem was that he didn't believe he could find peace right now, and he felt that the Force would not just give him answers freely if he stayed open and vulnerable.

 

As he broadcasted his concerns, Rey wanted desperately to help. The second problem she couldn't help with; that would take time. 

 

The first, though, she could, maybe. She remembered how at peace he had been earlier when she had petted him. Perhaps something similar could be done here.

 

_ When you imagined an akk dog, how did you interact with it? _

 

She was afraid to ask what he imagined when she personally was an akk dog. She wasn't ready for that. Thankfully, her question was enough.

 

Images flooded the bond of boyish dreams, and other thoughts full of yearning. 

 

A young Ben, no more than six or seven years old. Him being tackled to the ground by such a dog. Him a little older, playing with the dog and a toy. Him at various ages sitting comfortably and safely, just petting the dog in his lap.

 

The final image was one that made her heart pound. Ben was much older, close to his age now. He seemed content as he stood proudly, an akk dog standing at his side.

 

The only difference was that this one was much larger, at least his height, and it had hazel eyes, just like hers. It looked at him with a tender look, almost human. 

 

It was her.  She knew it in her bones that he imagined her beside him. She wished she was larger, just to make it possible for him, if only for a short time until they resolved their differences. 

 

She knew what she had to do to help. She had to climb into his lap, but it scared her. 

 

What if something came for them? What if it hurt him while she was contained in his arms? What if she got too comfortable there and couldn't hide her true feelings? What if she fell even harder for him?

 

No. She couldn't let fear rule her. If she had done that, she would still be in Jakku.

 

She climbed into his lap, ready to take a chance. It was more important for him and the mission. She nudged his hand toward her until he looked down.

 

Confusion filled his eyes until she made herself comfortable on him. Then, she nestled herself against him, growling if he tried to move his hand away from her back.

 

At some point, he realized that she was doing it on purpose, and his other hand reached out, cupping her chin.

 

“I'm not sure how this will help, but I'll try anything at this point.”

 

She quieted her mind as he did the same. Soon, the only sound around them was their in-sync breathing and the soft scratching of fingers against scales.

 

Ben loved the feel of it and the sense of her consciousness sitting alongside his, happily purring at his attention. 

 

Slowly, Rey felt the peace fill his mind, everything within going silent. 

 

When she judged him ready, she whispered softly in her mind.

 

_ You are one with the Force. _

 

That seemed to be all the prompting he needed. His mind searched for the Force, not desiring to bend it to his will. As he did, he saw a path through the trees, a shadowy hand beckoning him to follow. He ran to keep up with the spirit, and as he did, the ground moved faster and faster until he was suddenly in front of an old, rundown Jedi temple in the shape of a pyramid. The doors of the temple opened, leading to a path. At the end of the path was the thwice.

 

As he tried to grab the thwice, he woke up from his trance, now fully awake and aware of his surroundings.

 

In particular, there was Rey. She seemed to be sleeping, until he pulled a hand away. Then, her head tilted up toward him, a growl in her throat.

 

When she saw that he was awake, all snarling rage left her, and she seemed much happier.

 

_ Did you see the path? _

 

“Yes. I'm ready to lead the way. Are you better rested? Do you have your strength back yet?”

 

She moved off of him and jetted around his feet to prove how much stronger she felt.

 

“Good. Hold still. I'm going to attach this pack to your back, and I'm going to carry the rest.”

 

When that was done, the two headed west into the woods, in the direction he had been shown. The forest floor was filled with many dead, fallen branches, the bark covered in moss, as well as many bushes, ferns, and hostas. Smaller trees also had popped up where breaks in the trees had developed, making it hard to see very far in the forest. 

 

Ben took to cutting down all overgrown branches and tall plants in their way to ensure Rey had a clear path for her short legs. No plant was safe as he razed everything in the necessary path to the ground.

 

As Rey followed him with her slightly lighter pack, her curiosity got the better of her.

 

_ Ben, how did you hear about akk dogs? _

 

“My mother used to tell me legends about famous Jedi. One was about Mace Windu and his akk dog,” he said with a hack at a newer maple branch still full of leaves and seeds. As he tore apart the branch, the seeds spread about him, little helicopters flying everywhere. 

 

_ Is there a special reason for liking them? _

 

He stopped to look at her. She seemed genuinely curious.

 

_ How did I end up as an akk dog? _

 

_ “ _ My parents never let me have a pet or companion. It was always unobtainable,” he said, purposely looking ahead. 

 

She had always been out of reach for him, first as an enemy, and then by her own choice. As his feelings developed for her, his initial whimsical, passing thought comparing her to an akk dog took on a life of its own. 

 

What was left unsaid caused a flurry of feelings and thoughts in Rey's mind. He felt her growing interest and excitement as she hurried to catch up to him.

 

_ I never had a pet, either. I could barely feed myself. I just had a plant.  _

 

“A plant?” he asked, stopping again to look at her.

 

He hated being reminded of how hard she had had it growing up on Jakku. It had been one of the things he had plans to change when he became Supreme Leader. Rey would never go hungry while alone, just like any other number of children.

 

When her head touched his leg, he suddenly had a vision of Rey's AT-AT, her home on Jakku. There were so many old, broken things, and then the one solitary desert rose. 

 

After he saw the rose, she pulled away, now content that he had seen another part of her history that he hadn't before.

 

_ Tell me more about akk dogs. What would you have liked to have done with them? Why did you like them so much? _

 

He couldn't believe he actually  _ wanted  _ to share all this with her. No one had ever cared about his silly dreams, and she was intensely curious. He hated eating his angry words, but between her sharing and genuine interest in him, he couldn't stop the flood of things he wanted to tell her.

 

There had been much they'd shared already, but it was still so small compared to everything he wanted to. No one else would understand. 

 

Becoming disoriented after seeing Rey’s home, he began to hack along a slightly different path, now with more of an angle than going purely west. He explained as he continued to walk and destroy.

 

“My parents were always away from home. All I had was droids to keep me company. I wanted a pet at first to have someone to play with.”

 

Rey let out a small, sad whine. 

 

“Then, as I discovered my Force abilities, I wanted to be able to share it with someone who would like it and who could understand me,” he said, remembering how ashamed he felt after hearing everything his parents said about him.

 

_ I'm sorry, Ben.  _

 

_ “ _ I know better than most how alone and confused you felt as you discovered your Force abilities,” he admitted in a low voice. “I couldn't connect to my father after that, and my mother thought I was evil. I'd like to spare anyone from having to suffer like that, especially you.”

 

Rey was silent after that as she tried to process what he meant. It gave new meaning to his desire to teach her on Starkiller Base. Now, knowing what she did of his history with Luke, he wanted to save her from that at some level.

 

A shaded path began to form going southwest, and Ben thought nothing of it, glad to have less to cut down since the path had more rocks and small sticks filling it. 

 

When the path diverged ahead, he tried to remember the way he had been shown. His memory said go to the right, so he led her that way, even if he didn't remember a fork in the barely-there path. There would be many more miles of trees ahead until they finally got to the temple.

 

They continued down that darker path for a little time until they came to the edge of another bright, open field. When he saw it, he panicked.

 

_ What's wrong? _

 

_ “ _ We're lost. We went the wrong way; there should be no field here.”

 

_ How? The Force showed you the way. _

 

_ “ _ The Force was wrong, or I wasn't paying enough attention. Either way, I screwed this up again. Why did you insist on me doing this?”

 

Rey sighed in frustration. 

 

_ How were you going to teach me when you are like this? When are you going to learn that meditation isn't something you just get in one day? I still don't understand everything. It's okay to fail if you learn from it. _

 

Remembering Rey's reaction to his last outburst, he ran ahead of her. He didn't want to argue with her or unleash his emotions on her like he knew he would if they continued to talk. 

 

He hated failure. It upset him a lot.

 

He hated it even more when she witnessed it.

 

_ Get back here, Ben! We're not done yet! _

 

_ “ _ Not right now. I need a minute.”

 

_ But- _

 

The way she said it, with such resigned sadness, told him that she would let him go. She knew he needed it.

 

“Eat something while waiting. It'll help you gain more strength,” he said without looking at her. 

 

She wanted to regain her strength as much as he did. She did, grabbing the meat sticking out of her pack.

 

As he stewed and tried to calm down, he silently cursed himself and the Force. He was doing nothing right.

 

In the next moment, he heard a loud noise like thunder in the distance. 

 

Then, he heard a loud cry of fear and despair from Rey.

 

_ Ben, no! Run! _

 

He turned around upon hearing her panic through their bond. That was when he saw the five large panthers running toward him, and a very angry Rey rushing after them. 

 

He could see her using the Force to put barriers between him and them, including the boulders from the path and smaller, younger trees, uprooting them entirely. He began doing the same, as he had no intention of running away, or leaving her to fight them alone. 

 

He had caused this. He would fix it. He pulled out his lightsaber, ready to tear them apart.

 

At that moment, he felt a breeze fly past him. He looked up just in time to see Rey grow up and turn into a human again. In the next moment, he became even bigger, all of his load dropping as he lost all his appendages that could hold things. Now he had small, thin legs like centipedes. 

 

The Corellian sand panthers stopped upon seeing him, fear entering their eyes as he towered over them, all sixty feet of him. They turned and faced Rey, and suddenly he knew exactly how she had felt moments before.

 

Even she was eyeing him with some amount of fear, but at least she had the presence of mind to call his falling lightsaber to her.

 

When she had it in hand, her fierce expression back on her face, Ben felt some measure of relief.

 

Then, he looked down at himself. He actually recognized this beast based on what he saw. It was native to Jakku, which was why he knew about it. He had spent an inordinate amount of time learning everything he could about Jakku, Rey's home world.

 

He was now a nightwatcher worm, a creature of nightmares. 

 

He fully intended to use its skills to his advantage, and make sure all those sandy-colored panthers feared him when he was done with them. Assuming he didn't eat them whole first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. For Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a nightwatcher worm, and they are finally learning to work together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't own Star Wars or anything else I reference (Persuasion and Labyrinth here). I'm just a shipper who likes to think of odd ways to make them talk and come together. I hope you are enjoying the story!

Rey found herself staring at one of her nightmares.

 

It had been disorienting as a small animal, and odder yet when she changed back. But to see Ben become a giant worm, taller and wider than some of the trees around them, well….

 

She was just glad that he wouldn't hurt her. In that, she had complete faith.

 

The fear of the brown worm with red eyes and a small, rectangular head above a giant maw of a grin paralyzed her for only a moment. 

 

Then, she remembered the falling lightsaber. She reached for it, and then took on the much more worrisome attackers, the Corellian sand panthers. How they ended up on this planet was something she'd figure out later. 

 

The five predators stalked toward her, and she slashed Ben's crossguard saber in the air, hoping the noise and light would scare them off.

 

No such luck.

 

When they began to rush at her, she took her position, just as she had in Snoke's throne room. 

 

The animals didn't get very far, however.

 

Between the numerous rocks she threw at them and into their path, they stopped short. 

 

Ben, who had burrowed into the ground like any nightwatcher worm would in sand, chose the predators’ moment of confusion to shoot out of the ground, swallowing up three of them at once. 

 

As his many rows of teeth tore through the tree trunks and animals’ skins easily, the other two creatures quickly ran away, realizing that they were no match for the superior predator. He licked his mouth clean of blood with his blue tongue.

 

At least neither of them would go hungry on this trip.

 

_ You're welcome. _

 

She wanted to wipe the smugness out of his tone and eyes as he stared at her.

 

“I had it under control. _I_ _would’ve killed them_ if they had gotten closer,” she maintained stubbornly.

 

_ Sure, Rey. Whatever makes you feel better. You distracted them for me. How's that? _

 

Her scowl deepened.  

 

“Maybe if you didn't act so cocky about it-"

 

_ I'm a nightwatcher worm. What can I say? It's what I do. I can't help it if you turned me into something out of your worst nightmares. _

 

“You got that right,” she muttered. “If you ever watched a speeder get swallowed up by one of those worms, you'd have nightmares about them, too.”

 

He hummed in agreement. 

 

_ I don't doubt it. Based on everything I've read about them, they're terrifying. _

 

_ “ _ Oh, they are,” she continued, going to pick up all the items that Ben had dropped earlier. 

 

Once she had everything, she faced him straight on.

 

“I thought that the disposal of the attackers went well. Can we agree to just stay together from now on, to prevent any more terrible moments of panic like we just had?”

 

Ben considered her question a moment and realized that that wasn't what she really wanted. However, because he had been against it earlier, she wasn't going to suggest it.

 

_ I'll do you one better. We'll actually do what my mom suggested, and work together. We made a very effective team there.  _

 

It was true. Right now, they were lost and needed to escape faster. He had speed, and she had the ability to find their direction.

 

There was also that small part of him that lived for working in tandem with Rey. Ever since fighting back to back in Snoke’s throne room, he had wanted to find more opportunities to do that sort of thing with Rey. Like negotiating peace talks with her.

 

He had always hoped that eventually she would realize what he had seen on Starkiller Base, that they were equals. Not only that, but also perfectly balanced with one another. They were ideal together. 

 

That was why she would make the perfect companion, lover, wife, mother, and everything else in between. 

 

It pained him to think about all those lost, ruined possibilities with her.

 

Rey was overjoyed that he made the suggestion. She nodded and prepared to climb onto him, until he stopped her.

 

_ Not yet. Find the right path first, as well as an exact location in the abandoned Jedi temple to find the thwice. _

 

With those questions in mind, she sat and meditated. Finding her center was easy then. She doubted she would ever be so at peace with a nightwatcher worm so close by ever again. 

 

But then again, he seemed just as at peace now that they had a plan - and had agreed to be together - as she was. 

 

And the Force seemed to like their plan immensely. 

 

Before she knew it, she saw herself flying northwest at the tree level and making quick work of the miles of woods ahead. 

 

Then, the Jedi temple loomed ahead. The sole pyramid was made of gray stones stacked on one another, with no doorways or entrances visible besides tiny windows to let light in at the very top.

 

Thankfully, she was led to a small crack, where she somehow fit. Once she was inside, an entrance opened, and there was only one path that led to the thwice. 

 

Once she had all the information she needed, she told Ben everything she saw and then climbed onto him, holding on to all of their packs and containers.

 

As they traveled aboveground, they made good time since his body was wider than some of the oldest trees they had seen, knocking down everything in his path. His several rows of teeth could cut through anything his girth couldn't. 

 

Rey enjoyed the feeling of flying, but not for long. Ben was curious how he came into his current form, and she was ready to indulge him.

 

“How much have you read about this type of worm?” she started with.

 

_ The usual things found in biology holos, such as height, weight, diet, and whatnot. They do love their metal. _

 

“Yes, it was a constant fight for all of us scavengers. You never knew when they might attack.”

 

_ Did you always feel that way about me? _

 

Rey felt his hurt and concern through the bond. She found herself clutching on to him just a little tighter to try to soften it.

 

“Not always. At first, I was a little scared, but that was overwhelmed by my dislike for you for intruding in my mind. Then I hated you for-"

 

She paused, not wanting to bring up something painful to them both. He pushed on, though.

 

_ Because of Han Solo. I know. After that? _

 

He seemed hopeful, and she didn't quite understand why.

 

“After, there was a short time when my hate fought with my fear of you appearing through our bond randomly, just as those worms seemed to. I didn't want to see you. You confused me as much as you challenged me.”

 

He seemed pleased by that.

 

_ I wanted you to know the truth. You deserved that. I didn't want you to think of me the same way everyone else did. _

 

“But why me? Why was I special?” she asked, intensely curious. “What did you know then?”

 

_ I always knew there was something special about you, from the moment I saw you. I've had visions of you, just as you've had visions of me. _

 

She wanted to ask how he knew that she had seen him, but given how he had been inside her mind before, it wasn't surprising. It was odd and a little satisfying to know that she wasn't the only one.

 

“But how did you know? Were you that in tune with the Force?” she queried, wanting to know how he did it. “If you were, then why do you have so much trouble connecting to the Force now? It can't be that hard to change.”

 

She could hear him chuckling. 

 

_ So curious you are, not to mention ready to fix things. There's a reason everyone loves you. _

 

She wished that included him. Everything would be so much easier that way.

 

“You didn't answer my question,” she persisted.

 

He chuckled again. It was a sound she was quickly learning to like.

 

_ I've always been in tune with the Force. That wasn't the issue. The problem was that ever since you entered my life, my path became uncertain. _

 

Rey paused to consider that.

 

“Because it was clear before then? Follow Snoke and take over the galaxy?”

 

_ Essentially, yes. I always wanted the power, then. After I met you, though, and knew you were real, I became distracted. Why did the Force keep showing you to me? It made no sense. _

 

“So you started questioning the Force more?”

 

_ Yes. Then I had to make hard choices, starting with…. _

 

“Han,” she said, remembering his pause.

 

_ Exactly. It all spiraled out of control. I didn't trust that the Force was leading me in the right direction. I thought I had to forge my own path, bending the Force to my will.  _

 

Rey laughed at the notion, making Ben stop and turn his head to fix her with a glare.

 

_ If you'd done what I've done, you'd have shame and guilt about changing your ways like I do. I always had trouble finding peace when younger, and it got significantly harder as I got older and made more bad decisions.  _

 

She leaned forward and gave him a light squeeze. Certainly it was hard to overcome those things, but one had to start somewhere and keep practicing. 

 

_ I’m much better now. Meditating was hard when Snoke was inside my head. Not having him there was odd at first, and finding peace is still hard. I envy your clear head and conscience.  _

 

“We could meditate together when we get back. Every day, just the two of us. We'll practice together. I know I'm better at it when you're near; it seems to be the same for you.”

 

After a pregnant pause, he replied in a much happier tone.  _ I'd like that. _

 

He was quiet after that, but she felt his satisfaction through the bond. It even seemed to make him move faster.

 

After they went another couple miles west in silence, Ben came back to her.

 

_ Was the nightwatcher worm the scariest creature for you? Is that why you chose it for me? _

 

“Yes, along with what I mentioned earlier,” she said with embarrassment. “That worm took away my livelihood, the main thing that gave me identity. It was my worst nightmare.”

 

She felt the silent question more than heard him actually give it a voice. Had he done the same thing to her?

 

“When you came along, you seemed like a creature from my nightmares from the way you dressed. I always hated that mask.”

 

_ So did my family. I think I'm seeing a pattern. _

 

“The main difference between you and that worm was that you forced me to confront my past, a core part of my identity that I refused to acknowledge. I needed it, but it hurt, so much. I hated letting go.”

 

As she finally said it out loud, she felt a blanket of empathy come from him, warm and comforting. 

 

_ You needed it, as much as I did. I'm worse at it. I was a hypocrite for so long. _

 

“What made you finally realize it?”

 

_ That moment you closed the door on me at Crait. I'd never felt so alone or lost. _

 

Rey nodded slowly, understanding the feeling all too well.

 

_ Everything had been for naught in that moment. I didn't understand why it was all happening to me when I was trying to do right by you. All I had done was care about you, by saving your life and making everyone else's life better.  _

 

As he continued to speak, he slowed down progressively. 

 

By the end of the speech, he stopped moving altogether and looked away, as though remembering a painful moment.

 

_ And you still rejected me. _

 

Every bit of hate, self-loathing, and confusion was thrown into that phrase.

 

_ It was then that I knew that I had done something wrong. I didn't know what, but I was determined to figure it out.  _

 

“I didn't realize all that you had planned for the galaxy,” she started, but he stopped her.

 

_ That idea changed dramatically over the first week. It would have been more iron-fisted and destructive, in line with Snoke's way of doing things at first. I thought with both of us there, we could do it more humanely. But that wasn't right. You saw through me and hated the idea.  _

 

“I didn't want to say no. It hurt so much to go against you then. But I knew I had to. It wasn't right.”

 

He nodded, finally understanding her reasons better.

 

_ I decided to do it completely different from everyone else, and actually take my advice. I faced up to my past so that I could give it up and grow. It was only then, and after much meditation, that I realized that I was still holding on to it. I thought I'd only be a legacy, never just a person, the way you saw me. _

 

“How long before you were at peace and able to fully give it up?”

 

_ It took months. I still didn't feel true peace until I decided to find you and try to bring actual peace to the galaxy. _

 

She patted him.

 

“You've accomplished so much in this time, though. You have much to be proud of.”

 

_ I suppose. But everything is still so dependent on me. I'm tired of it. I don't want the power. I want to be left alone. _

 

“Me too! Well, not alone alone, but you know what I mean,” she said, struggling for words. 

 

_ I do. Better than you realize. Everyone has looked up to us because we're the main Force-users. There's so much pressure. I'm not sure why I ever thought I wanted the power. It must have been Snoke's influence.  _

 

“Definitely him,” she said with a smile.

 

Soon after that, the two noticed that the crowded trees were thinning. Within a few minutes after that, more light poured onto them until they finally came to the edge of the trees.

 

Standing before them was a Jedi temple. Tall and elegant, it was covered in an ancient script of shallow, hand-carved symbols that Rey had only begun to understand from reading and translating the Jedi texts she had taken, while Ben knew it better than any other language besides Basic. On top of the jagged, wind-worn gray stones was a complex network of green vines spanning multiple sides of the pyramid. 

 

Rey jumped down from Ben and started scanning the temple for cracks and holes. The pyramid structure towered above them, ever taller than Ben and yet somehow not able to be seen above the trees. He kept trying to jump and scan the various texts for clues.

 

“Ben, the vision I saw showed that there is an entrance. It's small and close to the ground. I don't think that's going to help. You should conserve your energy,” suggested Rey with concern.

 

_ I know. But I'm looking for anything about traps and the like. I've seen them before at temples, to keep out Sith and others who might misuse their artifacts. Trust me on this. You do trust me, right? _

 

He had been speaking so confidently, and then his insecurity reared its ugly head, making him question her. It made her sigh.

 

“Yes. I don't think I would've handed myself over to you on the  _ Supremacy _ if I didn't.”

 

_ That was before you rejected me. What about after? _

 

“I never stopped,” she maintained, stomping her foot for emphasis. 

 

He lay on the ground completely, all sixty feet of him, in order to have his eyes at her level.

 

_ Excuse me if I have trouble believing that. You stayed away and shut off our connection a few times. That's not trust. _

 

“You're right. It was fear. But I never stopped trusting that if something happened, you would have mercy on me. You'd saved me before, and refused to kill your mother when you had the chance. I was hopeful.”

 

_ Then why stay away? _

 

_ “ _ Because you needed to figure out what you really wanted and choose your own path, without me interfering.”

 

He gave her an odd look.

 

_ How would you interfere? _

 

“I couldn't save you, as much as I wanted and tried to by coming to you. I thought that was obvious after I pleaded with you. You had to choose it. I was ready to wait, as long as it took.”

 

_ You're good at waiting.  _

 

He said it with a gruff acceptance. 

 

_ “ _ All good things are worth waiting for,” she said with a smile and a shrug.

 

His eyes took on a slight sheen of…  something. His voice became rushed as he tried to get all the words out that he wanted to say.

 

_ Does that, I mean, would you have- _

 

_ “ _ What are you talking about?”

 

_ I had always wondered whether there may not have been one person more my enemy even than Snoke. My own self. Tell me if, when I was ruling by myself after I had decided my path, if I had contacted you and been honest, would you have listened? Would you have joined me? Ruled the galaxy by my side? _

 

The world stopped as Rey finally understood. He had turned the world upside down, and he had done it all for her. __   
__   
"Would I!" was all her answer; but the accent was decisive enough. __   
_   
_ __ You would! It is not that I did not think of it, or desire it, but I was proud, too proud to ask again. I did not understand you. I shut my eyes, and would not understand you, or do you justice. 

 

“I could’ve done something, too. Don't forget that,” Rey replied ruefully. 

 

She found herself reaching out awkward arms to him. She wasn't really sure what she could accomplish with them in their respective forms, but she wanted him to know that the past was in the past. 

 

Now was different; they had one another. 

 

He bent forward so she could take hold of his triangular head, behind his eyes. In that spot, they dwelled on the mutual understanding and acceptance they had found once again in one another.

 

Rey wished with all her might that she could touch his real face. Even kiss him. Something to show him that she had regrets regarding them, but that she was open to him now.

 

Instead, both felt a slight breeze, and a shiver passed through them. When Rey blinked and closed her eyes, she felt his body change. 

 

Opening her eyes for one brief, wonderful moment, she was met by his normal, expressive eyes and human face. He was smiling just as much as she was.

 

“Rey.”

 

In the next moment, she felt herself change, becoming very small, just as Ben's smile disappeared. 

 

If she had been paying attention to all the little features on his face, she would have noticed that he seemed almost panicked as he got lost in his head, regardless of her changing.

 

By the time she was done shrinking, Ben's shoes seemed like giants compared to her.

 

_ Ben? _

 

When he looked at her, he started backing away from her, plastering himself against the temple in fear.

 

“I was hoping you wouldn't turn into that. I'm sorry, Rey. I didn't mean to make you become a spider.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. In Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is a spider. It's time to confront their biggest fear and move toward what's important: love (and finally entering the temple).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Star Wars. I read online that Han Solo was afraid of spiders (in the EU). I decided to play with that here. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

When his mother had suggested they talk, Ben never actually expected it to happen. 

 

They were uncomfortable around one another, even though they knew one another better than anyone else.The traitor and his bold girlfriend still didn't know everything about their Force Bond, or some of Rey's deepest secrets the way he did, at least based on the few conversations he had with them about Rey.

 

He was way more proud of that than he should be, but it all got balanced out by the fact that she knew him even better.

 

She was intuitive and so instinct-driven, and when she unleashed it on him, he was equal parts hopeful and scared.

 

Like right now as they were suddenly sharing their feelings and fears again. It was still just as raw and emotional as before, and the intensity was finally hitting him.

 

He had actually admitted that he had thought of her as he went about making changes, and still wanted her beside him then.

 

Did she realize that it extended beyond that time frame? He hoped not, as he was sure that she'd reject him again.

 

And yet…

 

She had said that she would join him. It had been the most enlightening, joyful moment in his life. 

 

But did that mean that she would join him now? Had something changed since then? 

 

Was he even willing to risk it?

 

His initial instinct was no. He was wading in too deep. He was drawing dangerously close to stirring up old feelings that he had been trying to repress to prevent the fear that came with them. 

 

That was how Ben found himself backing away slowly from Rey, until the moment she became a spider. In that moment, one of his nightmares came to life.

 

He plastered himself against the temple, knowing it wouldn’t hurt him if he just touched it. He found himself apologizing to her for causing this, but he felt as though he ought to apologize more. 

 

He doubted he would go near her or touch her in that form. There were too many bad memories.

 

_ Ben? There's no need to apologize. But why are you so far away now? _

 

The confusion he heard made him feel guilty. He knew exactly why.

 

“It's nothing. I just… need to lean against this for a bit. You should stay there.”

 

He heard her sighing as she moved closer to him.

 

_ Ben Solo, you're shaking. This isn't  _ nothing.  _ Tell me. Do you really not trust me after all this time? You accuse me of it, when you're- _

 

“I do trust you, Rey! That's why I'm saying this! Just, stay away, for now. Please.” 

 

He didn't want to hurt or kill her by accident.

 

_ If you would explain a little more- _

 

“I hate spiders, alright?”

 

Rey stopped moving. He continued when he was satisfied that she wouldn't move again. 

 

“I've feared them my whole life, thanks to my father. He screamed whenever he saw them, and then I wandered into a nest of them once.  I was a child; I found them one afternoon when I escaped supervision. I've despised them since.”

 

Rey seemed to want to say something about Han’s fear, but she wisely kept it to herself.

 

_ You fear them even now? You could crush them so easily, though.  _

 

“If you were punished for failure by having large, poisonous spiders enter your bedroom at night, and not be allowed to kill them, you'd be more worried, too. Thankfully, Snoke stopped doing that when he discovered that I responded better to other things.”

 

The sympathy Rey felt for him in that moment overpowered him.

 

_ Like what? _

 

Those two words slipped out before Rey realized it. She started to apologize, but he stopped her. At least she knew part of it already. 

 

“It was the way he compared me to my father, and contrasted me to my grandfather. I hated it. I wanted to be powerful and did  _ everything _ for Snoke. Then he threw it back in my face.”

 

Thoughts of Starkiller Base and the interrogation room flooded Rey's memory. She remembered that moment just as clearly as he did - the moment someone else discovered the truth.

 

It was a moment of clarity for him as he realized why the Force had been showing her to him. She was strong with the Force, and more.

 

She would be able to understand him better than anyone else. 

 

Now, he could look back and realize that his greatest fear started to change once he heard it aloud.

 

_ Did you hold on to that fear for much longer? It had to dissipate if you were willing to seek peace. _

 

“Yes. It changed within a matter of weeks, even if I still wanted the power after that. You saw that in my appeal to you. Letting go of power became easier with time.”

 

To know that he wasn't the only one who felt so alone, and could have an ally in time, was powerful. 

 

Snoke had underestimated that power greatly, as had he. 

 

It slowly morphed his greatest fear into something else entirely, only completely realized when Rey shut the door on their connection at Crait.

 

The fear of rejection. Of always being alone after experiencing a deep connection with someone else.

 

“I felt so empty.”

 

He realized belatedly that he had just voiced his train of thought. Thankfully, Rey didn't realize where he had gone.

 

_ Snoke was evil. I'm glad you had the courage to kill him. _

 

_ “ _ It was him or you. I'll always choose you.”

 

He winced upon hearing his words. He was treading too close.

 

He needed to erect a better wall around his heart, instead of the one with small cracks that Rey always found. 

 

These feelings and fears were powerful, making him say and do things he shouldn't. 

 

Rey was quiet as she considered the full extent of his words. When she was done and saw that he wasn't shaking, she decided to take the plunge.

 

_ Do you really trust me? _

 

He sent her an angry look.

 

_ Oy! I'm only trying to help here. Bend down. As much as I'd like to stand here and talk, I think we need to search at the same time. _

 

“What are you suggesting?” he asked cautiously, still not bending over.

 

_ Bend over, and let me walk onto your hand. You move much faster than me, and we can cover much more ground while we continue talking. _

 

_ “ _ I can't do that, Rey. I'll squish you. I'd never forgive myself for hurting you.”

 

_ I trust you not to hurt me. Believe in me, Ben. Let me help you confront your fear. We'll conquer it together.  _

 

It took Ben another ten minutes before he finally did as she asked. He told her in the meantime of the various nightmares he had involving spiders, so that she knew what not to do. 

 

Gingerly, he put his hand out and closed his eyes.

 

_ Open your eyes, Ben. You always saw them at night; look at them in the bright light of day. I don't want to hurt you. _

 

He forced himself to open his eyes and watched as she crawled into his hand. She was so small, smaller than his thumb, and black. 

 

After stopping his hands from squashing or dumping her off twice, he started walking.

 

They made their way around the temple, both looking for a hole that Rey could fit into. She was sure that the entrance she had seen was right because the Force knew she would be small.

 

For the first ten minutes, Ben actively fought his desire to hurt Rey. For her part, she tried to soothe his screaming mind and racing heartbeat.

 

_ It's alright. Ben. I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help you. This kind of fear is overpowering now, but it won't be forever. _

 

_ “ _ When? I'd like it to stop now,” he groaned.

 

_ I had fears like that, irrational ones related to you being a nightwatcher worm. This bond between us is able to be controlled to some degree, but I was so afraid that you'd find me in a weak moment. Or worse, someone would notice me talking to you. _

 

_ “ _ I can see that,” he said. “I didn't fear the bond as much as I feared you.”

 

_ Which is why it's easy to understand why you imagine me as a spider. You were afraid of me and what I would say when you first approached me. I assumed that you were over that after we worked together then. _

 

_ “ _ I was afraid of being hurt,” he said, the words slipping out without thought.

 

Her response was immediate. 

 

_ I was, too. _

 

The next ten minutes after that were a little easier for him. He was too focused on the idea of Rey being afraid of the same thing as him. 

 

That, and now that Rey was a spider, afraid of him and being hurt, he wanted to cradle and protect her. 

 

Finally, they found a small crack. Rey could fit easily into it.

 

_ This is it. I remember this jagged edge of the crack. Can you place your hand next to the crack please, Ben? _

 

When he didn't immediately move, she turned to see him. 

 

He was frozen in place. He seemed conflicted about something. 

 

_ What is it? I thought you'd be glad to not be touching a spider anymore. _

 

He heard her confusion, but he didn't elaborate. A part of him wanted to let her go, but he was getting used to her at last.  The larger, more protective part of him had no desire to let her go into a dark hole alone, though. 

 

He couldn't be there beside her. He had to trust that she would take care of herself. If not, something could happen to her. If she died….

 

_ Snap out of it, Ben! Believe in me, and trust the Force. We have to do this. We don't have much time. _

 

He was about to say something derisive when he heard the slight tremble in her voice.

 

“What are you afraid of?”

 

_ What? _

 

She had felt his conflict, the shift to anger, and then the sudden change to something bordering on calm. His question threw her all the same.

 

“Are you afraid to do this, just like me?” he asked, voice quivering slightly.

 

_ Of course I am _ .  _ So much could go wrong. We may not make it in time; it could be a trap. I could get stuck there _ -

 

“Enough. What are you  _ really  _ scared of?” he interrupted, his mind buzzing with something she couldn't identify. 

 

_ Why do you want to know? Isn't it obvious? It's the same thing you're probably afraid of. We seem to have everything else in common. _

 

His gaze bore through her, just like a lightsaber would shear a limb off. It cut everything away until they were both left bare, with her glimpsing every bit of his soul he would allow.

 

“Say it,” he said, his other hand turning into a fist as tension filled his body.

 

She steeled herself. 

 

_ You first.  _

 

Minutes passed. Emotions roiled and bubbled at the surface, but neither spoke.

 

Both were too stubborn to go first, and take the risk.

 

Their staring match continued until Ben blinked. Then, something broke within both of them at the loss of contact.

 

As one, they blurted, “I don't want to lose you!”

 

This time, the full meaning of loss was understood. It wasn't just the thought of the other lying there bloody that bothered them. 

 

It was the thought of being alone, without the other ever again. To lose a part of themselves that they had grown to need. Their other half, as it were.

 

Ben's knees turned into jelly. He carefully slid down until he was seated on the ground, all tension released at last.

 

“If you got stuck in there, and I couldn't get to you in time, I'd never forgive myself,” he said, leaning his head back.

 

_ If something attacked you while I went in, I'd never forgive myself. _

 

_ “ _ I can defend myself,” he protested, eyes coming back to her.

 

_ So can I. So why are we so worried about this? _

 

She felt him closing in on himself again.

 

It was on the tip of his tongue. He had almost said it out loud, but she hadn't said anything. She was still holding back.

 

It was dark and cold as he hid himself, but mostly, it was empty. She wasn't there beside him anymore.

 

He couldn't quite say when he fell in love with Rey, but he knew he was gone by the time she arrived on the  _ Supremacy _ , unwilling to kill her or be without her.

 

He had made the conscious choice to lash out and assume she didn't care about him at Crait. It had been a dark, lonely time for him. His lowest point.

 

He didn't want to go back to it. He wanted her warmth, her hope, her presence. He wanted to have that connection with her, lived to the fullest.

 

But was it worth the possible rejection again?

 

Then, he remembered her eyes and face as she said, “Would I!”

 

He had been the cause of his own misery. 

 

He wasn't going to live in fear anymore.  Love wasn't a weakness; love was stronger than fear. People died for love. He could have that strength with Rey. 

 

Rey felt him come back to her, a blanket of warmth overwhelming her. She had never felt that kind of deep-seated, overpowering warmth from him. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever felt. 

 

His eyes opened, revealing his resolution. His hand moved easily to the crack.

 

“I love you, Rey. I've loved you for so long now.  I was so afraid of love, of belonging, of you, precisely because I had been rejected for so long. I yearned for it more and more as I got to know you, and then I became afraid of it when you left. Not anymore.”

 

He was calm. She envied him that. She was a tumultuous mess. He couldn't see her cry, but she was inwardly. He felt it, and he wished he could comfort her somehow.

 

_ How does that happen? How do you know me so well? How do you put words to this paradoxical mess? How can I love you and fear you so much at the same time? _

 

_ “ _ You love me?” he asked, his voice soft as he pulled his hand holding her closer to his face. Hope pounded wildly in his chest. It made him strong, and love filled him up in a way it never had before.

 

_ Yes. I love you so much it hurts, Ben. It hurt to push you away, and then for you to stay away. All I've wanted since we touched hands was to be by your side. Why else do you think I came to you? _

 

“To help your friends only.”

 

_ No. I may have wanted that to a small degree, but I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted you. _

 

“Not as much as I wanted you.”

 

She seemed to shrug and shake her head.

 

_ It was so hard saying no to you. I couldn't bear to say it.  _

 

“But you found the strength.”

 

_ Only because I loved you then. I didn't know it, but I did. I didn't have a word for it. I wasn't used to experiencing it. _

 

“When did you know you loved me?” he urged.

 

_ The moment you stopped trying to reach me. With all that extra distance, I knew I loved you because I missed you so much. I had to be bodily restrained when I learned that Hux had staged a coup. _

 

He smiled at the thought of Rey pummeling Hux on his behalf.

 

In the peaceful silence that followed, the two sat without a sense of time or place.

 

When Ben pushed his hand against the temple again to insist that she go ahead, he scraped it against the jagged edge, creating a shallow cut with some blood. 

 

“Ow!”

 

_ I have an idea! Hold still, Ben. _

 

Suddenly, she began spinning a web around his cut finger, until a light weave was created. When she was satisfied, she climbed into the crack.

 

She didn't break off the edge of the string, though. She stayed just long enough to ensure that the blood flow was staunched. While a reddish pink color soaked into the web, there was no blood escaping, satisfying her.

 

As she pulled and created her string from Ben to the temple, the reddish color remained.

 

She walked further through the crack, Ben quietly watching from outside.

 

When she came to the other side of the wall, she was amazed by the sheer size and emptiness of it.

 

_ It's huge. I can see one path into the heart of the temple. I'm looking for a way to open the door for you. _

 

_ “ _ Don't rush. I'll be here,” he said, yanking the string to the right to prove that he was still there.

 

As he did so, it pulled the string into a small crevice at the edge of the crack. As the string clicked over the edge, it pulled Rey closer to it.

 

When she touched the edge of the inside wall, the ground beneath them began to shake. She dropped to the ground, away from the moving walls.

 

_ Watch out, Ben! I think you triggered it! _

 

Just as in her vision from the Force, the walls opened up, allowing him to step in with their packs and containers before the walls closed back up as he touched the inside wall.

 

Inwardly, Rey was cheering.

 

_ We did it! _

 

“Yes, we did. I'm still not sure how-"

 

_ Move now, think later. We still have a plant to find. _

 

She crawled back onto his hand, which no longer shook. He had lost his temporary bandage, but the bleeding had stopped.

 

They had only taken a few steps when both felt the telltale breeze pass by them. 

 

He dropped her on instinct, and as she fell, she turned back into a human.

 

The joyous look she greeted him with made it all worth it, right before he changed.

 

He saw Rey become much taller than him, and he was now on all fours. 

 

Somehow, his abnormally large ears were even bigger now. He was covered in black fur. He couldn't see the rest of his body to save his life.

 

As Rey recognized the form he took, her face broke out in a large grin, right before she covered her mouth with both hands, as though restraining a laugh.

 

She seemed as though she wanted to say something, restraining herself with some effort.

 

_ Go ahead, say it. _

 

He was furious and resigned to his fate. Of course she imagined him as something funny with big ears.

 

“Are you sure?” she asked, eyes wide.

 

_ Yes. Just get it over with quickly. _

 

Nothing prepared him for what came next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! It only gets more fluffy from here.


	6. For Companionship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is a black jackrab; it's time to find some thwice and for these two to be the team they were always meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Star Wars or anything else I reference (Beauty and the Beast and Lindsey Stirling's song Hold My Heart). I hope I'm not the only one who imagines Ben as an animal with big ears; it was too hard to resist! I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Rey pulled her hands from over her mouth, revealing the face most women had when seeing a newborn baby for the first time. Her voice was just as high.

 

“Oh, Ben, you're even more adorable than I had imagined! I just want to hug you and pet you!”

 

If Ben could wrinkle his nose, he did so then. What kind of response was that? 

 

His quiet rage morphed into anxious confusion.

 

The hands that had been forced to stay near her face now reached for him, as though she did want to do the things she said.

 

He panicked. His ears, longer than his body, shot up in alarm.

 

_ Rey? _

 

She leaned down and put one hand near his behind, grabbing his black fur and back with the other. Then, she scooped him into her arms, where she rubbed the top of his head. Then, she nuzzled his nose with hers.

 

Suddenly, he wasn't afraid or confused anymore. This actually felt pretty amazing. His ears fell down in contentment.

 

This was something so sweet, he thought it could never happen to him. Especially with Rey. But there she was, smiling and making cooing noises, as though she had discovered baby porgs. 

 

“Thank you for letting me do this, Ben. You're the most adorable jackrab ever.”

 

_ A jackrab? The desert rabbit from Tatooine? _

 

She nodded, clearly pleased despite his shock, and then went back to cuddling him more. She doubted he would ever let her do such a thing again.

 

She was wrong, but she would figure that out later.

 

He was still sputtering, even as he reveled in the feeling.

 

_ How did I become a jackrab?  _

 

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

 

“Besides the fact that I've imagined you as one a few times on occasion?”

 

_ You  _ want  _ to cuddle with and nuzzle me? _

 

She stopped and gave him a serious look.

 

“Ben, I just told you I loved you. Some of my feelings are a little more tender. Isn't that obvious? I thought you wanted the same thing, based on how you held me as an akk dog.”

 

His mind was reeling with the information. She felt him finally settle back into a sense of calm.

 

_ I didn't know I wanted you to do this until you started doing it. I always wanted to do it to you, sure, but I know your reputation.  _

 

“I grew up not needing a man to hold my hand. Now you know the truth; I just want you to hold my heart. The feeling is mutual. I've wanted something like this for so long….”

 

As her voice trailed off, her mind wandered to all her years growing up alone. The desire to have a companion was something she had given up on, and physical touch was foreign. It was unwise to trust like that.

 

Nonetheless, she craved both things, with someone who she loved and who loved her in return.

 

All throughout, her hands never stopped moving. This sense of physical touch which both had been deprived of for too long was a small comfort, and only the beginning for them.

 

_ We should keep moving. _

 

His words brought her out of her reverie, and stopped him from seeing the long list of memories that she had inadvertently shared with him in the process: her nights alone, the times she wished for family, and her dreams of someone to love her. 

 

She had the same dreams as him: wanting someone to hold her close, to protect her, and to have the chance to give the same things to the other, trusting them completely.

 

He wanted to give it all to her. 

 

“Yes, we should,” she said, not letting go of him.

 

Just inside the entrance was a series of huts, no doubt the homes of the Jedi who had lived there. One path led away from it and the other rooms and scattered buildings. 

 

She took determined steps down the winding path to the center of the temple. He got used to being in her arms quickly, even if he bemoaned his even larger ears. 

 

_ How did you hear about jackrabs? _

 

“The Resistance was buying supplies shortly after Crait. I happened to see one, and I almost demanded that we take one onboard the  _ Falcon _ . I loved it.”

 

He seemed amused as he responded.

 

_ While no one else did. _

 

“Yes. Everyone had enough with the porgs. I saw that rabbit, and immediately thought of you with its giant ears.”

 

_ I knew it. _

 

“They're sweet, just like yours,” she said, sliding her hands along a portion of his ears and their base. “But given your color preferences, you’d have black fur.”

 

The base of his ears had always been a sweet spot for him. Now, he experienced bliss like none other as she touched him there, and he let out a soft moan in the process.

 

“Hmm, I'll keep that in mind for later,” she teased, pulling away from his ears at last. “You've nothing to be ashamed of with them.”

 

His mind was still coming down from that momentary high when he answered, his words still labored.

 

_ I wouldn't have believed it if you hadn't told me directly. _

 

“It's true. Ever since we touched hands, I found more and more things to like about you. After Crait, I was missing you so much. I wanted what Finn and Rose had; I wanted it with you.”

 

He saw a memory of just after Crait, of Finn looking over Rose and his care and devotion to her.

 

“I started looking for you in everything around me, all while avoiding the real thing because of how much I missed you. It was absurd,” she said, her tone annoyed as she remembered her behavior. 

 

_ I believe it. We were both acting strangely then. Between my sudden calm as I tried to navigate leadership, and my random disappearances when we were connected, my men were  _ very  _ confused. _

 

Rey laughed heartily. 

 

“I would've liked to have seen their faces.”

 

_ I'm sure you would. _

 

They continued on in that vein for another fifteen minutes, until the long, paved path suddenly terminated in a large, central area, just inside a stone wall. 

 

The central area alone could have swallowed up Maz’s castle twice. Tall and open, with natural light flooding in from above onto the flat, grassy area. A single dirt path led toward the very center.

 

Past the wall in the very center stood a long line of animals, many from other planets. Both Force-users were confused as to how they got there, until Ben heard a quiet whispering on the wind.

 

He listened in closely as he told Rey to start analyzing attack plans. He listened for some time to the snarls and growls emitted by the animals. When he was satisfied, he told Rey.

 

_ These are all explorers from other galaxies. They came in search of the thwice and failed in time to reach it. They've chosen to guard it since it is so precious. The Jedi that used to guard this temple were animals as well, and they've led these animals here to only let the worthy take this prize. _

 

Rey continued the conversation through the bond, afraid to let the other animals know what they were saying.

 

_ So we need to eliminate all twenty of these animals? _

 

Rey's worry was palpable. She had seen the giant hunters and beasts that snarled viciously at them. There were so many. Ben did his best to soothe her. 

 

_ We will kill some if we have to make a point only. The others should get the message. _

 

_ I don't think so, Ben. They seem pretty intent. We can't put barriers up. If we fight them all, then we might not make it in time. It'll take awhile to get back. We need to scare them all somehow. _

 

A sudden thought filled Ben’s mind. 

 

_ Do you trust me? The Jedi may hate me and haunt my waking hours for doing this, but I think it'll scare all of these animals. _

 

Rey placed him on the ground gently and pulled out her lightsaber.

 

_ How can I help? _

 

_ See the grasses there? When I give the cue, run your lightsaber against it. _

 

The small, black jackrab hopped forward a few steps before grinding his wide feet in the dirt. 

 

He took a breath, remembered every lesson his mother ever told him about diplomacy, and then projected his voice to all the animals present.

 

_ Guardians of this sacred temple! We are explorers looking to take this thwice with us to help feed the galaxy. We come in peace. We have been trained by Jedi, and we don't wish to hurt you. We will, though, in order to complete our mission. Step aside. _

 

When the line of animals tightened up, he sighed. He couldn't help the dramatic commentary.

 

_ Why do they  _ never _ listen? _

 

_ “ _ Because they don't know you like I do.”

 

Focusing again on the guards and on channeling his growing anger, Ben turned to face the guards head-on.

 

_ If you're not with us, then you're against us. Bring your worst. Prepare to experience the full power of the Force, the Dark and Light, united and balanced at last. _

 

Ben and Rey both had never felt such a closeness to the Force than in that moment. Agreeing to work together was one thing, but proclaiming it for all to hear, making it official?

 

All around them, the Force seemed to hum its approval. It surged and gave them new hope for the battle ahead.

 

Ben felt more empowered than ever before, and he just  _ knew _ that this was what the Force had wanted all along.

 

Never had he been more glad to be in line with what the Force wanted. He would happily fight by Rey's side the rest of his life.

 

Rey felt the approval from the Force as well, and she was joyful. The vision that she’d had all that time ago was finally going to come to fruition. They would indeed stand together always.

 

Ben’s ear twitched up toward Rey, and she swiped at the ground, letting sparks fly and setting the grass on fire around them.

 

Then, his ears perked up until the tips of his ears were bent and pointed at the animals. He aimed for the ground in front of them.

 

Powerful streaks of Force Lightning shot out of his ears as a determined look crossed his face. The lightning arced through the air, making some animals break rank.

 

As the lightning fell, it struck the ground, making everything rattle and setting the grass around the animals on fire. The animals ran in abject fear, fleeing every direction they could while calling for revenge and reinforcements. 

 

As the area was cleared of wildlife, Ben and Rey strode forward. Rey created a shield for them and their belongings as they walked through the fire burning around them.

 

“Should we do something about this fire?” she asked hesitantly.

 

_ No. Every home needs some spring cleaning. The old must be swept away, so new life can take its place. Besides, the fire will burn out on its own. There is little left to consume.  _

 

Rey knew Ben was right, and continued forward. The grassy area they walked through ended abruptly as a large dirt pit loomed ahead.

 

In the center of the pit was some mushy ground containing the thwice. A small river running under the wall of the temple fed the many stalks of thwice, keeping the ground moist. The area the thwice filled could have easily overrun the entirety of Ben's quarters aboard the  _ Finalizer. _

 

At least they wouldn't be taking all of it with them.

 

“We didn't bring a shovel,” murmured Rey in horror.

 

_ Don't worry. We got lucky, seeing as I'm a great digger. Prepare the containers. _

 

Rey nodded, and the two got to work. As Ben dug, he sent some of the wetter dirt in Rey's direction, so that she could fill the bottom of the containers with it. Rey arranged the dirt and watched the fire burn out.

 

After they had enough dirt, she filled the containers with some water from the river.

 

By that point, the fire had all but died out. Rey kept an eye on their surroundings for reappearances, and Ben set to digging up some of the thwice.

 

They had just finished up putting the plants in the containers when even more animals flooded the space.

 

They were surrounded by double the amount of animals, including the panthers from before, and fire wouldn't help them now. 

 

_ We need a plan. Do you think we can create a shield around ourselves and pass all of them? _

 

_ “ _ No, I think that's suicide, Ben. There's got to be another way out besides that twisting path. We only have a couple hours left, and we can't depend on one of us being large and fast again.”

 

_ Technically, the windows above are a way out, but there's no way to reach them unless you have wings. You can't climb that with me and all this on your back. _

 

_ “ _ I just need you and the plants. We could try,” she insisted. 

 

Ben shouldn't have been so pleased to know that she thought of him first, but he was.

 

_ Then let's try it. We don't have time to fight and possibly become even weaker. _

 

Rey dug through her pack and found the rope and hooks she brought. She tied it to herself, then Ben on her back. The plant containers stayed on her arms, hanging from their handles. 

 

The animals closed in as Rey approached the wall. Her heart pounded in time with Ben's as they ran with their harebrained plan.

 

As Rey placed a hand on the temple wall, both felt the telltale wind pick up around them.

 

The breeze pushed some of the seeds on the ends of the yellow thwice out on the ground, spreading seed from both the plants in the ground and in containers. 

 

Rey pulled away from the wall, untying Ben and pulling him off her before he became human once more.

 

“Ben, save the seeds!”

 

Rey felt herself grow in size as a long set of goldenrod tail feathers formed with canary yellow feathers on her arms, head, and longer, bonier feet. She dropped the plants before she broke something. 

 

As Ben raced forward to save the plants and seeds, his eyes became huge.

 

Before his eyes, Rey transformed into a yellow starbird, its sleek shape the symbol of the Rebels and Resistance, and his last and greatest hope for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> This chapter and animal is what inspired this story, strangely enough. The idea of Ben as a black rabbit with huge ears shooting Force Lightning out of them was my starting point, and I created the story from there. I thought this story would end up being more crackish than it actually is (don't get me wrong, the premise and idea still is). Instead, it's just really, really fluffy.


	7. In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is a starbird, the great symbol of hope. It's time to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Star Wars. I read about the starbird online, and I knew immediately that I wanted Rey to be one since she has so much hope. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

As Rey lifted her crested head, Ben stared in awe.

 

Her shiny feathers and plumage stretched out as she tested her new wings. Each wing was ten feet long, with plumage reminiscent of a peacock when she flapped or flew. Ben had to protect the plants as she did so.

 

“Rey! You need to stop!”

 

She stopped at once, staring at him with concern. 

 

_ What did I do? _

 

 _“_ You almost sent more of our seeds flying. As it is, the thwice around us is dusting the ground quite nicely.”

 

She peered around them, seeing the way the thwice seeds seemed to float in the air before they fell into various places in the dirt pit.

 

Further away, the guardians of the plants stared in awe at seeing the legendary bird as the light from above reflected off her plumage, casting a golden glow around her.

 

Suddenly, Rey could hear whispers of all sorts. She started listening until she had heard enough.

 

Ben felt her growing awe as she listened.

 

_ It seems the entrance opens whenever an animal touches the inner wall. Human touch closes it.  _

 

_ “ _ That's different. The Jedi must have built that into the temple itself.”

 

Rey seemed to want to say more.

 

“What is it?” he demanded. “Just tell me. We don't have time to waste.”

 

_ Ben, what exactly am I? I don't recognize this bird. Nor do our guards. Some are whispering about what they think I am. _

 

“Which is?” he asked, his voice on edge. He stared down as his feet flattened the bank of the river.

 

_ A starbird? I've heard Leia tell stories of how the insignia came to be on Rebel helmets, but why- _

 

“Not here. They're right, though,” he interrupted quickly, rushing forward with the plants. “If they're distracted by you, then let's use it to our advantage and get out of here.”

 

She looked up at the opening in the gray stones. Two people could possibly fit through it at once, but not her with her expansive wingspan.

 

_ I don't know how I can fit. _

 

Ben had also been examining the holes carefully. He saw the long stones that sat just above the opening, reaching all the way to the corner. All the other stones beneath were shorter, a quarter or an eighth of the size.

 

_ “ _ Leave that to me.”

 

Ben took off his shirt, ripped it in half, and began wrapping the plants with it for protection from the wind. When he was satisfied, he found the rope and hooks from before. He tied it to himself and the containers, then onto one of Rey's legs.

 

If they went down, they'd go down together. He wasn't leaving her behind.

 

He pulled back after that to admire Rey and his handiwork. Rey continued to look at him with a little puzzlement, but now she was distracted by his toned abs. She stared openly at them, which was better than her looking away and just seeming awkward about it.

 

“Are you ready to fly?”

 

He was pleased by the sound of satisfaction in her tone.

 

_ Yes. Climb onto me. _

 

As she knelt down, he scrambled onto her back. When his hold was secure around her neck, she shot up into the air, just as the animals around them began moving closer.

 

As Rey's wings flapped, Ben watched as a flurry of seeds were spread throughout the center area of the temple. Perhaps more would grow now. Less grass and more thwice, for whoever needed it next.

 

_ This feels amazing! _

 

As Rey flew higher, the excitement of flying overtook her. She soared higher and higher, until they were almost at the opening.

 

“Slow down! I need you to stop and hold still in this position for a few moments.”

 

She flattened her wings and played with them a little in order to get used to staying in place, making many small flaps.

 

When she was ready and sufficiently far from the wall, Ben went to work. The old stones just under the openings were blasted from their positions onto the ground outside.

 

As he moved the first rock, Rey cawed in approval, while inwardly cheering him on.

 

_ Go, Ben, go! That was great! _

 

She continued cheering him on as he finished the job.

 

With a level of control only mastered after many years of practice, he blasted each level away, going lower and lower, until an opening was created that could fit both of them through it.

 

He had been worried that her talking while he worked would mess up his concentration, but he was pleased to know the opposite. The more she encouraged him, the better and easier it was for him. He flourished under her enthusiasm and excitement.

 

When he stopped to rest a moment while the guardians looked on in shock, Rey spoke up.

 

_ Shall we find our ship? _

 

Ben grinned at hearing her think of his stuff as hers as well. It would be from now on.

 

_ “ _ Yes. Let's go home.”

 

Home. Rey used to think it was with the Resistance. That changed when the two sides came together. She hadn't known what was home after that.

 

Sure, they all stayed on Chandrila as they ran things and started up the new government, but it had never felt like home to her. It was Ben's birthplace, but he never talked about it.

 

So what was home?

 

_ Wherever you are _ , he thought, filling her with joy.

 

With a loud, high-pitched scream and a flap of her wings, Rey took off, leaving the Jedi temple behind them.

 

The temple became tiny as she flew higher, until they had a view of the whole planet below.

 

Both scanned the skies for their ship. Ben was the first to spot it, having remembered most of the path they took, even if it wandered more than he would've liked.

 

Once he pointed it out to her, she sped off in that direction. It would take a little time to get there, but if they did it right, they'd escape with time to spare. 

 

_ “ _ We have less than an hour, but I think we can manage it. Go as hard as you can, but don't overtax yourself,” he insisted. 

 

She nodded, keeping her eyes on their destination. 

 

He relaxed at last, his body still on edge from earlier. He allowed himself to stretch.

 

“Is it alright if I touch you, Rey? Or will it ruin your concentration?”

 

_ You already are. I'd prefer it if you do. I was surprised you waited this long, to be honest. _

 

_ “ _ Is  _ that _ why you've been so quiet?” he asked, his voice growing higher in pitch.

 

He felt the shame in her voice.

 

_ Yes. I thought you disliked the sight of me because of what I represent.  _

 

“The possibility of battle was distracting me. Let me remedy that at once,” he said, letting his hands glide across her sleek feathers.

 

“This bird represents many things to the Resistance, but none of those are why I continue to think of you as one,” he said at last. “At first, I saw you as the new hope of the Resistance. It was natural for you to take up that mantle.”

 

_ What changed in your mind? _

 

_ “ _ My traitorous feelings,” he grumbled as he looked away, making her chuckle.

 

It was weird looking down. He could see the path of destruction he made from his time as a worm, countless tall trees pushed to the side.

 

_ I thought your mind was pretty made up by the time of Crait and afterwards. _

 

“I remained hopeful that I could mend things with you in the first three months after Crait. After my mind conjured that image of you, I began thinking of you differently. You might have been hope for them, but you were my last and greatest hope as well.”

 

He heard the sadness in her voice.  _ I rejected you. _

 

“Rightfully so. It pushed me to reconsider myself and my motives, time and again,” he said, more aware of himself. “After seeing how we crashed and burned at Crait, I wanted our relationship to grow again out of that, just like a starbird would.”

 

_ It would, eventually. _

 

He nodded and continued, “I kept holding on to that hope, to the past, and more in the first three months. I recognized it and did it because I thought I could. I was wrong.”

 

His grip tightened on her, and she slowed down just long enough so that she could lean her neck back a little more, to let him know she was there.

 

“I hated myself and what I'd become by the end of the first three months,” he groaned into her neck. “Everything was going wrong. I felt like a failure. I had so much power, but it was all empty. I was nothing, and alone.”

 

_ You were never nothing. You meant something to me.  _

 

_ “ _ You were the first person to believe in me like that. I didn't think I'd be anything unless I was with someone, or was someone else. Anything but myself.”

 

_ That's why you wanted me to join you. _

 

Her tone of understanding soothed him. 

 

“Yes. You didn't realize it, of course. At that point, it didn't matter. I gave up on something with you because I was afraid of being hurt by you, all the while wanting you. I was a mess.”

 

_ That's not all, though. _

 

“No. Without you or Snoke there, I found myself. I let go of my past; it took me so long to forgive myself and accept myself as I am, as something more than a monster.”

 

_ You became who you were always meant to be, a better man. That was when your idea changed, that I would come to you, just as I had before? That I would see the new you and run to you. _

 

_ “ _ Yes. I clung to that hope, time and time again. You were that bright spot of hope in my life. That one day, all of it would be worth it.”

 

She paused before replying back.

 

_ Is it now? _

 

“Yes. Yes, it is. Power isn't what I wanted.”

 

_ So you don't care about Darth Vader's legacy? You're so much more than that, you know. You're you. _

 

He smiled. “It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, but yes. Power was empty and lonely. I thought love was a weakness, but now I know it's not.”

 

_ It'll be our greatest strength. _

 

That truth settled into his bones, and he breathed it in. 

 

“Agreed. I'm also more comfortable with myself now, just as I am. I have you by my side, but I don't need you to have identity,” he confided. “Life didn't start to make complete sense until you entered it and turned it upside down. I feel more complete with you as you push me toward what is truly me.”

 

It was a mutual pushing, each trying to help the other improve. It was the way it should be.

 

_ I feel that completeness, too. I know what you are. I've come to grips with it. The Dark and the Light will both always reside within you because of what's happened to you. You're stronger when you embrace both fully. _

 

_ “ _ Both reside within you, too. Just in the opposite way,” he said, remembering her angry outbursts and other moments. “The Light will always be stronger within you, to counteract me.”

 

_ Balance. _

 

“Yes, just as the Force always intended.”

 

_ Did you feel that, right after you warned the guards- _

 

_ “ _ Yes. I had never felt so proud to be able to make that claim, after wanting it for so long. We were one at last. I just wished I had realized it was the will of the Force before that.”

 

_ The Force works in odd ways sometimes.  _

 

“You can say that again.”

 

_ I didn't think it was possible to feel so much excitement from a simple sentence. _

 

“Words have power if we give it to them.”

 

_ The Force knew our intentions. It welcomed us like never before. That's what becoming one with the Force feels like. _

 

They were rapidly approaching the ship. Some tension re-entered him at what awaited them. Real life, away from this planet where they could express themselves fully, with little to interrupt them.

 

“What's going to happen next?” he asked nervously. 

 

He wanted confirmation. Rey felt his anxiety and sought to help. 

 

_ Assuming that my vision from the Force is correct, I should return back to human form once we enter the ship. After that, it's up to us. We can go back to Chandrila, hands entwined, or however you think we ought to tell them about the new us. _

 

He sighed in relief.

 

“I'm going to embrace you properly once we get on that ship,” he proclaimed with a smile.

 

_ Then kiss me? _

 

He chuckled. “Yes. Many times during that flight home if I have anything to say about it.”

 

_ I'll say. We have much lost time to make up for. _

 

Something of a smug grin overcame his face as he looked at her large beak.

 

“We do indeed.”

 

They began their descent to the ground, slowly landing to prevent Ben from being knocked about.

 

_ I'll miss this form when we leave this planet. I loved being able to fly.  _

 

“Then this planet was good for two things, uniting us and showing you the true joy of flight.”

 

_ I've always loved flying, ever since I was little and entered my first flight simulator. _

 

_ “ _ You've always been a free spirit, doing what you think is right and inspiring hope wherever you go. It fits you.”

 

_ Freedom isn't freedom if you feel restrained and alone. It may have seemed like it to you, but my life was always one of fear and routine. I was being held back by my fears and the past. Fear clipped my wings, as it were. _

 

“Do you miss your old life at all?” he asked, worried.

 

_ No. I have friends now, people who care about me. I have you. You helped me grow so much. I felt free after we touched hands, and again upon reflection after Crait. _

 

“How?” he wondered earnestly.

 

_ I moved beyond my fears. True love is freedom because freedom is knowing that I can depend on someone, you - that you'll love and accept me no matter what happens. That you'll stand beside me in all things. _

 

“You're stuck with me now,” he said as he climbed off her back and untied himself. “You'll never be alone.”

 

_ I wouldn't have it any other way. _

 

They walked toward the ship, both glad to be done with this journey. They were excited for what the future held for them together.

 

As the ramp came down, Rey’s wing slid around Ben’s body.

 

_ I can't hold your hand right now, so this will have to do. _

 

“No matter what happens on the trip back and once we arrive on Chandrila, we will stand united.”

 

_ Always. _

 

The two walked up the ramp and allowed it to close. As the doors shut, a breeze somehow managed to flutter through Rey's wings, filling both of them with nervous excitement. 

 

Rey's voice was squeaky and high. 

 

_ This is it! _

 

Ben turned around and put the plants into a cargo hold. Once satisfied, he turned around, hoping that Rey was right.

 

She was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	8. In Their Mutual Wanting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to go back to Chandrila: the end and epilogue of the story, all in one place. ALL THE FLUFF.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Star Wars or anything else I reference (P&P and Persuasion woo!). Welcome to the end of the story! Thanks for sticking with this oddball story to the end. I hope you like fluff!

When Ben turned around, he rejoiced seeing Rey back in human form, her face glowing as she gazed at him.

 

“Ben,” she said, her voice tinged with excitement as she walked toward him. She extended her right hand, beckoning him forward.

 

“Don't worry; I feel it, too,” he said, a grin starting to form as he took two large steps to stand in front of her.

 

Each held their breath as his right hand reached out to hers. When their fingers touched and entwined themselves at once, Rey let out a long breath. 

 

Her smile became radiant as Ben captured her tightly in his arms, leaving no space between them. At last, he could smell her hair to his heart's content and experience the sense of acceptance and love he had always wanted from Rey.

 

Rey was happy to fit herself into every nook and cranny of Ben she could find, resting her head at the juncture of his throat and shoulders, and splaying her fingers across his stomach and back.

 

“I thought I'd never get to experience this,” he whispered, his embrace slowly becoming looser.

 

“Don't say never. The Force will laugh at you and prove you wrong,” chuckled Rey, her face still buried against him. 

 

“I'm glad to be wrong,” he said, carding his fingers through her longer hair. 

 

As he pulled her hair away from her neck, he stared at it with naked longing. For too long, he had been forbidden to touch. 

 

Now, he wanted to explore every inch of her that he could find. His index finger slid up and down the back of her neck, curiously touching the smooth, tan skin. 

 

“Ben,  _ please,”  _ she moaned before kissing his throat.

 

He dipped his head and left one feather-light kiss against her neck. When her hand slid up his chest and pulled at his chin, he dove in for another, this time fully tasting her and the skin there.

 

Rey’s lips were happily engaged, but the bond was wide open in that moment, neither wanting to shut out the other from their shared moment of union at long last. Every word of encouragement from Rey pushed him further. 

 

_ Yes, yes, yes, Ben, oh yes. Please, more. _

 

He kissed his way up her neck, reveling in every whimper she uttered. 

 

She looked up for a moment into his dilated, dark eyes, took note of the scar on his face, and grinned. Then, she bent lower to his pulse point, kissing him there before biting and sucking at the spot.

 

_ Mine. _

 

It was only one word, but it meant the world to him as she claimed him as hers. It didn't matter that he was weak and had failed. It didn't matter that he wasn't perfect. She wanted him just as he was, not for what he could do. 

 

It emboldened him to do the same. 

 

When she finally pulled away from the mark she left, his hands grabbed both sides of her face, drawing her to him.

 

With their faces scant inches apart, he whispered, “I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”

 

“Nor I,” she said breathily, her eyes taking in his lips and tongue. “We’ll work together, train together. Anything and everything.”

 

“As long as you're mine.”

 

She nodded eagerly.

 

With years of pent-up longing pushing him forward, he smashed his lips against hers, deciding that there was no better taste in the galaxy. 

 

_ Mine _ .

 

As he claimed all of her, Rey gladly gave him all of her in return. There was no one she trusted or wanted more, and he heard it over and over again through their bond as they kissed.

 

_ You. I choose you. I don't want anyone but you.  _

 

He claimed every inch of her mouth as soon as she granted him entrance, and her hands wound their way around his neck and into his hair, pushing their mouths closer.

 

Rey knew that the wait had been worth it. She wouldn't have him, have this, any other way. They were two people just struggling to get by, with no galaxy to save, and no need to have to save the other. 

 

They simply chose to save what they loved.

 

One kiss led to another, then another. There were too many sensations. The slick feel of tongue against teeth. The taste of fire and smoke from earlier food, and the burden of years of longing being lifted at long last. Words squeezing in every time something new was experienced. 

 

_ Yes, just like that. More.  _

 

Both eagerly told the other what they liked and wanted, the feedback loop growing with every minute that their lips stayed connected. 

 

When they finally pulled apart to breathe, it was with much difficulty. 

 

_ I'm so glad this ship has autopilot. _

 

Rey laughed at his sudden comment, her eyes dancing as she responded in kind.

 

_ Me too. _

 

As they began another round of kisses, he heard an errant thought through the bond. 

 

_ My knees. So this is what it's like to go weak in the knees. _

 

He pushed Rey against the wall at once, his hands grabbing her tightly around her midsection to prevent her from falling.

 

_ I've got you. _

 

_ My hero. _

 

Her hands explored his chest fully, running nails across it and touching every bit of muscle she could find. 

 

_ I want more. _

 

Her hips pressed against his until he lifted her up slightly, allowing her to hook her legs around his hips, letting the friction build between them. 

 

His left hand slid up her body until it reached the scar on her upper arm.

 

At that, a little of his ardor cooled as he circled the spot and then pulled away to look at it.

 

Rey was initially surprised, but when she saw what he was looking at, she smiled. 

 

“That was from the first time we fought as a team. It's always been special to me.”

 

He kissed the scar gently before gazing at her face.

 

“I’m beginning to think that you enjoy creating and receiving scars,” he murmured as her hands roved over the marks she left on him.

 

“Only when it involves you,” she teased before leaning in to kiss him once more.

 

That kiss was more sweet.  Soon, he was kissing every inch of her face, light kisses left everywhere as she closed her eyes and enjoyed every nip and growl he uttered.

 

When he made it back to her lips, he muttered, “I don't know how I'm going to be able to focus. How can I do work when I have this raging desire to kiss you every second of the day? Now that I've tasted you once, I'm not going to get enough.”

 

“We’ll manage somehow,” she said with a smirk as he started to kiss her neck.

 

She sighed contentedly before saying, “We could stop being in charge. Just train and go on missions together instead.”

 

“That would be nice,” he said in between kisses.

 

When he licked a particularly sensitive spot on the side of her neck, her hands gripped him tightly as she squeaked.

 

“Like that, do you?” he asked with a knowing smirk.

 

“Watch it. I know your weak spot, too,” she threatened, letting a finger trail behind his ear.

 

He shivered.

 

“This will mean war later,” he warned, going back to kissing her elsewhere.

 

“Sweet victory no matter what happens,” she said, laying kisses on the top of his head. 

 

“There's so much we can do together. We can fix  _ anything _ we want,” he gasped.

 

“We could even train others,” she said without thinking.

 

He paused for a moment, and Rey realized what she had done.

 

She hadn't meant to repeat that part of the vision out loud, the two of them standing hand-in-hand while overseeing children training, including two of their own. However, ever since she had seen it, it had been a dream she wanted to come true.

 

A dream she had held on tightly to. She had meant to wait until after they were married and settled, away from all the new government headaches. 

 

Just being with Ben was her first goal. Anything more after that was like fine chocolate: lovely but not necessary. 

 

As he silently pulled her legs away from him and untangled himself from her, Rey was mortified.

 

She blushed and hung her head, knowing it was too soon, but there was nothing to be done about it now but damage control. 

 

When they were separated, his hands gently took hold of her cheeks and forced her to look him in the eye.

 

“Is that what you want, Rey? Truly?”

 

Her breath caught in her throat at the curious, sincere eyes that looked back at her. He didn't hate the idea. 

 

“Yes,” she replied in a small voice. “We've learned so much that we can share with others. We can fix the mistakes of teachers in the past.”

 

She didn't know if she would be a good teacher at first since she knew so little. Between more reading and training with Ben, she had warmed up to the idea a lot. It was something they could do together. 

 

“And?” he prompted, seeing that she wanted to say more.

 

Fear overcame her in that moment. What if he didn't want children?

 

His eyes, however, held all the love and hope she had ever wanted to see. Hope for their future together, whatever it was.

 

“We can be the right kind of parents to our children,” she said in a rush.

 

He breathed in and out slowly, his eyes not leaving hers.

 

“You want children… with  _ me? _ ” he asked in awe.

 

Through the bond, she could see him conjuring images of all the times he had done wrong, gotten angry, thrown a tantrum, and worse. 

 

He wasn't against it. Just shocked. She could work with that. She nodded eagerly, a smile enveloping her face.

 

“I saw it in a vision, when we touched hands that first time. Having children has always been a dream of mine.”

 

He breathed again, trying to reconcile her words with his own dreams for the future.

 

“I can't believe you want the same thing as me,” he said, his hands clasping in front of him. “Are you sure you want this, with me?”

 

“Very much,” she answered, her hands tentatively touching his. “Are you saying you don't?”

 

There was no venom behind her words. She just wanted confirmation that he wanted it like she did. He delivered, just as she hoped. 

 

“No! Not at all. I want it all with you. For you alone I think and plan. You're the one I've been hoping to have this with since, well-"

 

“Forever?” she asked playfully. “You're the only one I've ever considered.”

 

He kissed her one last time, as a way of sealing the agreement.

 

“Good. Then let's go home and get all this sorted out.”

 

They sat in their seats and put in the coordinates for Chandrila, Rey taking the captain’s chair for once. 

 

Both kept sneaking peeks at the other as they worked quickly, smiling whenever their eyes met.

 

Once they were in hyperspace on autopilot, they left the cockpit for somewhere comfortable to sit and talk.

 

They did talk eventually, after more kissing. The conversation was serious matters throughout, which helped them to hold back.

 

At first, they discussed how to best grow and distribute the thwice, but that soon turned into how they could bring others in on the job, to transition themselves out of it.

 

“We’ll have to discuss this with your mother a little,” said Rey. “She's very good at helping pave the way to include others in leadership.”

 

He sighed, thinking of his mother. He was glad that she was still alive. He knew that she had forgiven him, and he had forgiven her and Han later, after he saw how exhausting it was to lead. 

 

Still, he barely spoke to her. He felt he had no right to claim an audience with her after all he had said and done.

 

It was silly, of course, but Leia would never push him to do anything again. So she kept her distance.

 

“I suppose. We'll talk with her soon after we get back. I have a feeling she'll be very open to us having more alone time,” he said, thinking of the last time he had seen his mother.

 

“Why do you say that?” asked Rey. 

 

She talked about Ben plenty with Leia. She was sure that Leia would understand how things had moved naturally in this direction. 

 

“Let's just say I know my mother best in this instance. I have a feeling that she's been waiting to hear about us for a long time now.”

 

He was right.

 

As soon as they landed on Chandrila, people streamed toward them, surprised that they’d gotten back so soon. Two helpers came to take the thwice away, but they along with everyone else were shocked when the ramp opened.

 

Out walked Ben and Rey, hand-in-hand and smiling at one another. 

 

The first thing Ben saw was his mother's welcoming grin. If ever there was a point at which he felt as though he was being welcomed home by her, it was now.

 

He had never seen her look so proud. She always did her best in the past to include him in events, to make him feel a part of the team and everything else. 

 

She’d even tried after he had healed her to give him a hug. He had still been afraid that it was out of gratitude only, and not a genuine desire for connection with him, so he kept her at a distance. Now he wondered if he had been imagining it all that time.

 

As they got off the ramp, Rey broadcasted her nervousness.

 

_ Why are they staring at us like that? Is it that odd? Did they not expect this? _

 

The dry humor in his voice was hard to ignore at first.

 

_ Apparently not. They'll get used to it. Just look at my mother instead. She makes up for everyone else. _

 

Rey did look over at Leia and saw the welcoming look she had always wanted to receive from a parent. It took her breath away at how proud and happy Leia seemed.

 

Some of her nervousness subsided at seeing Leia, but a fresh round came in its place. Would she be good enough for Ben?

 

_ Yes, you are. Never doubt that. _

 

He snuck a quick kiss on her cheek, in order to quiet her mind. That did the trick nicely, until they realized what they had done in the sight of everyone. Then they blushed.

 

_ I'm going to treasure Dameron’s scowl of disgust forever. _

 

Rey laughed at Ben's aside, making the others give her weird looks for laughing at nothing, except perhaps his kiss.

 

_ Ben, you're awful. _

 

Soon, he was chuckling, and everyone continued to stare with raised eyebrows at the pair.

 

The helpers came forward, thanked them for their promptness, and took the thwice to its new home. 

 

Next, Poe and Hux came forward. Poe still couldn't quite hide his surprise, and Hux raised a questioning eyebrow at their levity.

 

“Welcome back. Good work,” said Poe awkwardly. 

 

“Well, this is unexpected. I suppose this means that you won't be having anymore duels with one another, and there's no chance of Rey completely embarrassing you in battle. I did enjoy watching those moments.”

 

Ben tried to give Hux a menacing look and failed. Rey laughed. Poe stared at them all like they had been turned into akk dogs.

 

“Hux. Dameron. Don't you have jobs to do, besides preventing our tired lovers from going to bed after such a fast mission?”

 

The two turned around and headed back to work, avoiding Leia's gaze.

 

When Leia came forward, the hard look she had reserved for Poe and Hux melted away into the joyous one she had welcomed both home with.

 

She approached Rey first since she came forward excitedly. Ben still hung back, curious to see the women talk.

 

“Good work, Rey. You found that thwice a lot faster than I expected. Does this have anything to do with the improved relationship between you and my son?”

 

“Yes, General, er, Leia,” she stumbled as she took in Leia's reproachful look. “We took your advice and talked. A lot.”

 

“I blame the Force,” said Ben with a sly smile. “It didn't give us a choice. Probably tricked us into going there, too.”

 

“All the same, we cleared the air. We may still argue from time to time over a finer detail, but not like before. We're together,” Rey said, smiling at Ben.

 

“Good. Then I have only two questions left for you,” said Leia, leaning in and hugging Rey.

 

“What are they?” 

 

“Do you love him?” asked Leia quietly, taking Rey's face in her hands.

 

“Yes. I've loved him for so long, probably since Crait without knowing it was love,” replied Rey, eyes never leaving Leia's. 

 

The older woman smiled and sighed. “Good. Now, this next question is very important: is there a chance that you will start calling me mother?”

 

“Oh, thank you!” cried Rey, squeezing Leia with all her might. 

 

Ben watched the moment with much satisfaction. Rey had found even more than she’d expected in joining the Resistance, he reflected. Now, she had friends, purpose, love, and a future. One day soon, a husband and family.

 

He had suspected that Leia approved of them together when she sent them on the mission. Leia had learned from her mistakes with Ben, and she would not repeat the past with Rey.

 

When the two pulled away, Leia approached her son. She didn't try to reach out, as he preferred.

 

“Ben, I just want you to know how proud I am of you. Your father would have been proud, too. All we've ever wanted is to see you happy.”

 

“You had odd ways of showing it,” he said, finding it hard to breathe.

 

“Only because we thought we knew what was best for you. You proved us wrong, and you did me proud as you led others. I'm comforted to know that Han didn't die in vain.”

 

“How?” he demanded, his voice rising as he stepped closer to his mother.

 

“Han gave his life in the hopes that you would forgive him - forgive us - for what we failed to do, so that you'd come home. It's not the homecoming we expected, but I'm just glad to have you.”

 

Her voice was gentle and grateful. His earlier panic at hearing his father's name diminished as he took one last, hesitant step toward his mother. 

 

“Yes. Everything is different now. You did what you had to, even if I didn't like it. I'm not that angry little boy anymore.”

 

“No, you certainly aren't. You're whole and happy, your own man. Balanced. You've grown up. Have you found love?”

 

Her question was said quietly, just as it had been when she asked Rey.

 

“Yes. I tried repressing and ignoring it - was even scared of it for a time - but it came crashing into my life, just as Rey does,” he said with a rueful smile.

 

“It's not a weakness?” she asked, remembering stories Rey had told her of Han’s death.

 

“No. While it can cause crippling fear, anything that empowers me like this is anything but a weakness. It'll be my, our greatest strength now.”

 

“That's my son!” she cried, reaching for her son at last. “Welcome home.”

 

For the first time in more than ten years, Ben put out his arms and embraced his mother, pulling her in tightly. Leia hugged him back with all she had, glad to have her son back at last.

 

They were quiet for a time, and then Leia whispered, “Your grandfather would've been so proud. You chose love and family first.”

 

As the last pieces of the puzzle fell into place, Ben found himself hugging his mother even more. 

 

All of a sudden, Rey was joining in on the family moment on Ben's left side. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

 

_ You'll never have to fear on that account ever again.  _

 

_ No, I won't, Rey. I've got you. _

 

When they finally pulled apart, Leia dismissed them both to bed, expecting a debrief the next day.

 

\---------

 

The next few weeks passed quickly for the new couple. 

 

Between talks with Leia, training and meditation together each day, and many exclamations of discovery from Hux as he experimented with the thwice, they were kept busy.

 

Little by little, the rest of their group came to accept them as a couple. Rose was first to congratulate them heartily with a hug. After some strong, initial disgust that Ben would never be good enough for her, Finn mellowed a little. 

 

However, it took a long talk with Rey showing just how happy she was to make him start to warm up to Ben. He wanted Rey's happiness most, and he was amazed just how much she smiled around Ben.

 

Hux took less time than Finn. His growing respect for Ben and reluctant acceptance of Rey made it easier to appreciate how well they did work together. Ben was  _ significantly  _ better with Rey nearby, so he appreciated that. 

 

Poe took a little longer because of his past with Ben, but he eventually warmed up to them. He couldn't forgive Rey for claiming that Ben’s hair was better, but it was something that he could joke with Ben about, at least.

 

A few months after their mission, the first of the thwice was sent en-masse to the galaxies that needed it. 

 

Hux crowed triumphantly over his great scientific feat, and Ben was glad that Hux had a better outlet besides weapons manufacturing. At least this new government would have the best tech around.

 

Six months after Themarwill, Ben and Rey were married. The two solitary creatures, the lone wolves, became one, united in name and deed.

 

Finally, after ensuring that the new government was in a better place than it had been with the New Republic, Rey and Ben pulled out of their respective positions of authority. 

 

When they were getting ready to make their first journey to look for Force-sensitive children to train, Chewie gave them the  _ Falcon  _ for good. He had forgiven Ben after some time, and he wanted them to have it, as Han would've preferred.

 

Ben tried to make Rey take the pilot's seat since she had been the one piloting it most recently, but she insisted otherwise. 

 

“Han would've wanted this for you.”

 

With tears in his eyes, he did, his hands entwined with Rey's the entire time through starting up the old piece of junk. It brought back many old memories, some more painful than most, but Rey was beside him through all of it.

 

After several years and some small skirmishes that they had to come out of hiding for briefly, Rey announced that she was pregnant. 

 

Ben had insisted that they not make the same mistakes his parents did. They waited.

 

Leia was overjoyed and the first to visit them. Finn and Rose followed soon after. All marveled at the school the couple had set up together. The students were accomplished and well-behaved generally.  

 

No one needed to know that was in part because the instructors sent the older students in small groups to Themarwill. Everyone seemed to understand each other much better after that trip.

 

When Rey held their twins in her arms for the first time, Ben came up from behind and placed a kiss on the top of her head. 

 

He slid his arms around her stomach and said, “This is the vision of your future that I saw. You and me, holding our children, the visible sign of our love.”

 

“I love you, Ben,” she said, leaning against him.

 

“I love you, too.”

 

Every time Rey saw her children's dark hair, she smiled.

 

It took many years to bring Rey's vision to fruition, but it happened. By that time, her bond with Ben was stronger than ever, their love burning brighter every day. It wasn't without its ups and down as happened in any marriage, but they made it work.

 

She had the family she had always wanted, and she always put Ben and her family first, before duty and all else. 

 

After many meditation sessions with her, Ben saw much improvement in himself. With time and more encouragement from Rey, he grew more confident and better able to lead, especially as they took on more students.

 

However, he always remained dedicated to Rey. She came first, and later their children. He loved them more than life itself. Every time he looked at them, he saw their mother's eyes, and he loved his children even more.

 

Even if the Force did trick them into going to Themarwill, Ben wasn't likely to complain anymore. It had changed his life in the best way possible, going from lonely solitude to loving acceptance. 

 

\---------

 

It was during one particular meditation at the beginning of the day that Ben had a lingering thought about the thwice.

 

What had ever happened to it at the temple?

 

Sure enough, he found himself careening through time and space back to that peculiar planet.  At the dawn of a new day, he looked inside the temple that had never been repaired, and he was amazed.

 

The banks of the river had overflowed, allowing the entire area where thwice seeds had fallen to be watered. Now, the area of thwice had quadrupled in size. 

 

All the animals seemed grateful for the abundance of life, but more than that, Ben saw balance. The number of animals had increased, and there was still plenty to go around. New life blossomed everywhere.

 

Just like that, he was pulled out of Themarwill, only to be brought back to his new home with Rey. He saw her blanketed in bright light as she ran toward him with the rising dawn, and he rushed forward, the cool darkness surrounding him as always.

 

When their hands and bodies met, light and dark met, and gray light covered them both.

 

Balance to the Force had been returned at last. Now, he had truly done what his grandfather had been meant to do. Somehow, he saw an image of Anakin Skywalker smiling.

 

As he thanked the Force for that insight, Rey interrupted. 

 

“Ben, are you alright? You're crying.”

 

“Never better,” he sniffed, wiping away a tear. “Do you know what we've managed to accomplish, together and with this new school?”

 

“No. Tell me,” she said, kneeling to get to his level.

 

“We've found balance within one another, and now we can teach that to everyone going forward,” he said, taking her hands in his.

 

“That we need to embrace the light and the dark in each of us?” she asked, sitting beside him in the grass. “Then yes. We're together, and always will be.”

 

“United.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading my story for this anthology! I had lots of fun writing it, and I enjoyed including lots of my headcanons for Episode IX in one place. I hope you enjoyed it as well; I'd love to hear what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! All feedback is appreciated!


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